For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Thursday, November 06, 2008

Abuse is abuse is abuse . . .Climbing To The Top of the Mountain

It is not good for all our wishes to be filled; through sickness we recognize the value of health; through evil, the value of good; through hunger, the value of food; through exertion, the value of rest.
Greek saying

The following pictures aren't pretty. Abuse is never pretty - physical, verbal, or mental. They say a picture is worth a thousand words - so I'm giving you thousands of words today. If someone happens on to my Blog and sees this - and it speaks to them - even just one person, then maybe I can help someone understand and change. Help make the world a little better place.
Some people say that words don't hurt. Words hurt. A physical attack gives people a real picture to see - verbal abuse is much harder to see. I think that these pictures can give you a mental picture of verbal abuse. Some people don't take words seriously. I'm not saying physical abuse is better -it's horrible - all abuse is horrible. If you're a child I guess there isn't a whole lot you can do about it, more now I guess than years ago, but if you're an adult - there are a lot more options open to you. Get some type of help.

I had lunch with my friend Sunday - we talked about changing and how hard it was. She too was abused as a child. How does one get over the mental abuse? How can you get out of the victim mentality? You have to make a decision to get out -

This is her analogy with my embellishments:

It's like climbing Mt. Everest to change oneself. You see off in the far distance that there is some better place way out there in the distance. You know you don't like it where you're at - it hurts. It doesn't and oh how good it looks on top of that beautiful mountain. The air so fresh and clear. The sky so blue. And it's so dark and sad down here.

You then make your decision and you start out for that mountain top - it doesn't look so high or so far away when you first start out. It looks easy.

Then you start out. You find out it's not as close as you thought it was. It's actually very far away. You don't have the right shoes or clothes for the journey so you have to stop and pick up those things. Then you walk and walk and walk. You finally start getting to the loose rock at the bottom of that mountain and you start to stumble - even going backwards at times. You wonder what in the world were you thinking when you first started out? Do I really want to do this? Do I really want to get to the top of that mountain? Is it really a better place?

But you must keep going because you're in limbo land now - you can't possibly go back to where you were (you don't know how) - the snow is starting, there is ice underneath the snow- you go three steps forward and then two steps back. You have to propel yourself forward. You're getting bruised and torn up along the way. Are you sure it is worth the pain?

You walk this path for years and years and years. You finally have the warm snugly clothes you need for the journey, the heavy boots, the crampons, the poles to anchor you in, the food, warm hot chocolate . . .you're finally prepared for the final assent - my question is - do you think there will be more 'bumps' in the road? Yes! The good thing is - you can handle them now - you can say no - you don't have to take it any more. It's a choice you didn't have before.

Do you ever get to the actual top of that mountain? How long did or does it take? Is everyone on their own path on that mountain and on their own timing? Is every one's experience the same? Does everyone choose to go to the top of the mountain? I doubt it. . .

And if you do arrive at the top and you finally get to that safe place - are you really safe?

Do you get scars from the journey? Are the scars still there from the past? I think the answer is exactly like when you have surgery - you are better because of the surgery, but the scar remains - dark red at first, then fades to almost nothing -but it always slightly remains. At first that scar reminds you of the pain, but eventually (hopefully) that scar can represent your strength. You did it! You made it! You're strong!

So was it worth the trip? That is only for you to decide. For me, absolutely yes, but I'm still climbing. Hey, I'm only 55 (Lol). I am enjoying the journey of life now more than ever. I'm excited about the rest of my life and what it holds for me. I know there will be bumps and bruises along the way.

Now this is a special club to belong to - not everyone can be in it - my own kids are not in it. There is a difference between hearing this and understanding this - and getting this in your gut.
You do not have to be abused to belong to this club. You could be a survivor of anything you've had to go through in life - personally or with somebody else.

The big question is would I be as happy now, If I hadn't had the past I had. How would my life be different? Was the pain then, the process to get me to the joy now?

Think about it and start living now. Next week we'll take a much lighter topic.


1 comment:

Corgidogmama~ said...

This was a very good entry. Thanks for the food for thought.