For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Monday, January 12, 2009

"Wedding Wars" the movie

If you are going to see "The Wedding Wars" at the movie with Kate Hudson and Anne Hathaway - you may not want to read the Blog today. It was good - so go see it! Now that was an oxymoron I know, but I think that is my middle name.

Two girls, best of friends for 20 years, end up getting engaged at the same time. They had always dreamed of having it at a certain place in the month of June. By error they both got booked the same day thus not allowing the other one to be able to be the maid of honor or even attend the other ones wedding and a 'war' ensued neither one giving up.

To me it was kind of cute as we are going through some wedding issues ourselves here. And as usual I like the psychological aspects of things as well as the 'story' and sometimes better.

One ended in true love and the other one's relationship ended because while they were friends - one had outgrown the other. He wanted her to return to the 'friend' he had met ten years ago. She had changed and become more assertive and he wanted the 'nice' girl back - the one everyone kind of walked on. It was also about the girls friendship - true friends who had spend a life time together - going through life's ups and downs.

It all ended up good and whether it's a fairy tale or not - I like good endings.

The thing that struck me the most was the relationship that ended. Like I said - he was in love with the girl she was ten years ago. A nice and pleasing girl. She had evolved and had gotten to the point where she learned to stand up for herself. He didn't like that and while he still liked her - he couldn't love and accept her. He was very disapproving of her. You could see the looks of disdain in his face when she stood up for herself.

(I have actually heard of a therapist who makes their clients sign a paper stating that she wasn't going to be held accountable for what happens in their clients marriage - especially if only one of the two attends.)

The other couple in the movie - he loved her nuttiness in spite of it - he loved and appreciated that quality. He was there for her in spite of herself.

Then there was the dynamics of the two girls - who had been friends for 20 years. They had gone through everything together - thick and thin - how they split up and eventually came back together.

Okay - it's just a movie, but I liked it and it had some good points and things to think about.

So tell me today, what kind of relationship are you in? One you feel loved, disapproved, do you feel friendship, or what? Probably we all are in all three types of different relationships - with different people and different circumstances.

Do you think you should change or try to change if your spouse refuses - just to stay the same?

I don't think I spoiled the movie too bad, or at least I hope I didn't - it was really cute.



^..^ Corgidogmama ^..^ said...

I don't know it hits pretty close to home....
oh, what the hey!
I was, 11 1/2 years ago...a strong, opinionated, confident, healthy person. Today, I'm weakened physically and mentally, making me really quite boring, and ineffective. I've lost my oomph must to the horror of old friends and family! I believe that I allowed it to happen, some to conform to what was "wanted" by my sig other. Some, because by conforming, it made disagreements not happen as often. Now...I rant to the dogs, or when doors slam on his way out. Am hoping to become stronger again in the new year. It's still in there. Just a little dormant. (Grrrrr) hear me roar???

Chatty Crone said...

Thanks for being so honest. I too am in the same situation. A little different in that I finally got to the point I just couldn't take it anymore. I grew (and it took years by the way), he stayed the same - hence the problem. You are a strong woman and yes, it's still in there, I feel it, it's resting until you find your way. I'm so glad I 'met' you. (How did you sepend time on the road in such tight quarters?)