For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, March 27, 2009

Fun Friday - Take a laugh break . . .

In the beginning, God created the Heavens and the Earth and populated the Earth with broccoli, cauliflower, spinach, green and yellow and red vegetables of all kinds, so Man and Woman would live long and healthy lives.
Then using God's great gifts, Satan created Ben and Jerry's Ice Cream and Krispy Creme Donuts.

And Satan said, "You want chocolate with that?"
And Man said, "Yes!"
and Woman said, "and as long as you're at it, add some sprinkles."
And they gained 10 pounds.
And Satan smiled.

And God created the healthful yogurt
that Woman might keep the figure that Man found so fair.
And Satan brought forth white flour
from the wheat, and sugar from the cane and combined them.
And Woman went from size 6 to size 14.

So God said, "Try my fresh green salad." And Satan presented Thousand-Island Dressing, buttery croutons
and garlic toast on the side.
And Man and Woman unfastened their belts following the repast.

God then said, "I have sent you heart healthy vegetables,
and olive oil in which to cook them."
And Satan brought forth deep fried fish and chicken-fried steak so big, it needed its own platter.
And Man gained more weight and his cholesterol went
through the roof.

God then created a light, fluffy white cake, named it "Angel Food Cake," and said, "It is good."
Satan then created chocolate cake and named it "Devil's Food."

God then brought forth running shoes
so that His children might lose those extra pounds.
And Satan gave cable TV with
a remote control so Man would not have to toil
changing the channels.
And Man and Woman laughed and cried before the flickering blue light and gained pounds.

Then God brought forth the potato, naturally low in fat and
brimming with nutrition.
And Satan peeled off the healthful skin
and sliced the starchy center into chips and deep-fried them.
And Man gained pounds.

God then gave lean beef so that Man
might consume fewer calories and still satisfy his appetite.
And Satan created McDonald's
and its 99-cent double cheeseburger.
Then said, "You want fries with that?"
And Man replied, "Yes! And super size them!"
And Satan said, "It is good."
And Man went into cardiac arrest.

God sighed and created quadruple bypass surgery.

Then Satan created HMOs.


When Dan found out he was going to inherit a fortune when
his sickly father died, he decided he needed a woman to enjoy it with.
So, one evening he went to a singles bar where he spotted the most
beautiful woman he had ever seen. Her natural beauty took his breath

"I may look like just an ordinary man," he said as he
walked up to her, "but in just a week or two, my father will die, and
I'll inherit 20 million dollars." Impressed, the woman went home with
him that evening and, three days later, she became his stepmother.

Women are so much smarter than men. (teehee)


For bird lovers only-

Here's an exercise video for all of us to use to work out to get in shape!


And lastly - Here's one for the girls-

One for the girls

Now I lay me down to sleep I pray the Lord
my shape to keep.

Please no wrinkles, Please no bags

And please lift my butt before it sags.

Please no age spots, Please no gray

And as for my belly, Please take it away.

Please keep me healthy, Please keep me young,

And thank you Dear Lord, For all that you've done.

Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to You.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other!

Foot Note:
One saggy boob said to the other saggy boob:
"If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're nuts."

Nutty, Chatty


Olde Dame Penniwig said...

Hoohoo, yer on a ROLL today!

Thanks for the laffs!!! Starting the weekend with a smile now...!

^..^Corgidogmama said...

Oh Lordy.....'tis Friday in Chatty land for sure!!
What a bunch of hoots today.
Yes, I did see sheep, but realized quickly that instead...they were a--es!

Buddha said...

I really needed that!
Thank you so much!

Chatty Crone said...

I am so glad you all like them. I so enjoy doing this Friday blog - I probably should do comedy every day, but . . .