For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, June 12, 2009

Fun Friday

Husbands Vs. Wives:
Three Men on a Hike -

Three men were hiking through a forest when they came upon a large raging, Violent river
Needing to get to the other side,
the first man prayed:

'God, please give me the strength to cross the river.'

Poof! .. God gave him big arms and strong legs
and he was able to swim
across in about 2 hours, having almost drowned twice.

After witnessing that, the second man prayed:
'God, please give me
strength and the tools to cross the river'

Poof! . God gave him a rowboat and strong arms
and strong legs and he
was able to row across in about an hour
after almost capsizing once.

Seeing what happened to the first two men,
the third man prayed:
'God,please give me the strength,
the tools and the intelligence
to cross the river'

Poof! .. He was turned into a woman
She checked the map,
hiked one
hundred yards up stream
and walked across the bridge.


'If at first you don't succeed, do it the way your wife told you!'

What age man do you want?
What I Want In A Man!

Original List:
1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 32)??
1. Nice looking
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner
4. Listens more than talks
5. Laughs at my jokes
6. Carries bags?of groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home-cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 42)
1. Not too ugly
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner out occasionally
4. Nods head when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers punch lines of jokes
6. Is in good enough?shape to rearrange the furniture
7. Wears a shirt that covers his stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat down
10. Shaves most weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 52)
1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep when I'm venting
5. Doesn't re-tell the same joke too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off the couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves some weekends

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 62)
1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when asleep
5. Remembers why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10 Remembers that it's the weekend

What I Want in a Man, Revised List (age 72)
1. Breathing.
2. Doesn't miss the toilet.
Adopt Pinky Please!

The Centers for Disease Control have issued a medical alert about a
Highly contagious, potentially dangerous virus that is transmitted
orally, by hand, and even electronically. This virus is called Weary
Overload Recreational Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from your boss,
any of your colleagues or anyone else via any means whatsoever

This virus will wipe out your private life completely. If you should
come into contact with WORK you should immediately leave the premises.

Take two good friends to the nearest grocery store and purchase one or
both of the antidotes - Work Isolating Neutralizer Extract (WINE) and
Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER). Take the antidote
repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.



ClassyChassy said...

Cool! Good reading!

^..^Corgidogmama said...

You crazy nut!
Where do you find this stuff?
It's all good reading and always gives me a good hoot, every, single Friday. Thanks for the kicks!