"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, April 16, 2010

Fun Friday - Take a laugh break . . .



To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If they Slow Down.
2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice !!!!
3. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks . Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In the Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Marijuana.'
6. Skip down the hall Rather Than Walk and see how many looks you get.
7. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
8. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
9. Sing Along At The Opera.
10. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You have a headache.
11. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'
12. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, Yelling 'Run For Your Lives! They're Loose!'
13 . Tell Your Children Over Dinner, ' Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go'











WRONG E-MAIL ADDRESS (from Sue and Carmen)

This one is priceless....A lesson to be learned from
typing the wrong email address!!!!

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out
during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier..

Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate
their travel schedules. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.

The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just
returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.

The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.

The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My Loving Wife
Subject: I've Arrived
Date: October 16, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in.

I've seen that everything has been prepared for your arrival
tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then!!!! Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P. S. Sure is freaking hot down here!!!!



Riverdance Wannabees - (from Angela).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8LsQ5gcf_fo







And the best for last:

Four friends spend weeks planning the perfect girls getaway trip - shopping, massages, facials.

Two days before the group is to leave Mary's husband puts his foot down and tells her she isn't going.

Mary's friends are very upset that she can't go, but what can they do.

Two days later the three get to the hotel only to find Mary sitting in the bar drinking a glass of wine.

"Wow, how long you been here and how did you talk your husband into letting you go?"

"Well, I've been here since last night............ Yesterday evening I was sitting on the couch and my husband came up behind me and put his hands over my eyes and said 'Guess who'?"

I pulled his hands off to find all he was wearing was his birthday suit. He took my hand and lead me to our bedroom. The room was scented with perfume, had two dozen candles and rose pedals all over.............On the bed, he had handcuffs and ropes! He told me to tie and cuff him to the bed, so I did. And then he said, "Now, you can do whatever you want."

So here I am.


Happy Birthday Bobby Vinton: Wikipedia
Vinton and his wife Dolores "Dolly" Dobbins Vinton have been married since December 17, 1962, and they have five children: Robert, Kristin, Christopher, Jennifer (who later changed her name legally to Hannah after getting married) and Rebecca. His oldest son, Robbie Vinton, played Vinton in the movie Goodfellas (1990). The Vintons make their home in Englewood, Florida. He also served in the service.

Sealed with a kiss -

14 comments:

Marjorie (Molly) Smith said...

Good morning Sandie, I love your Friday jokes. The bathing suit one reminds me of me...lol..but afraid I couldn't put my big bottom in a bikini, much less the top.
I hope you have a good day today. I am going to get my hair done and buy a few more items to finish up my yard. ( do you ever finish..haha)
Molly

Angela said...

Hey Sandie!

I loved the first set of funnies! Those were really good.

Hope you have a great weekend!
Angela

Susan said...

Ha ha ha ha ha ha hah Sandie. Hilarious post. Sincerely, Susan

The imPerfect Housewife said...

Oh man oh man, I just love your sense of humor!!! I SO get it! By the way, #13 from the first list...tried it, it doesn't work. They keep coming back. ☺

Helen said...

My face hurts from laughing ....

Knitty said...

Your Fun Fridays are simply great! I hope you and your family have a great weekend!

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

Funny Friday Chatty! Love how you gather up this stuff.
Have a great weekend. Glad you're back (or did I already tell you that?

Mimi said...

HI!!!!
I would love to do some of those things, but I would probably get arrested!!!!haha
like the zoo one!!!!haha
MY underneath hair before was bright red, covered by alot of blonde highlights!!!!
Now it is dark brown/light black with very few blonde streaks in it, so I guess they just cannot get it to be light to medium brown underneath with a few light to caramel streaks, it's like wanting the perfectly cooked egg, only my hubby can do that for me!!! To hard, or to runny!!!!!He makes them just right!!!!!
and everytime!!!!
Have a great day
hugs,
jamie

betty said...

Loved them all, but really enjoyed how to maintain a healthy level of insanity; too funny; might try the Diet Water one some time if I get brave enough :)

enjoy the weekend, Sandie :)

betty

Linda @ A La Carte said...

I needed some funny Friday laughs. The bathing suit one was very funny!

Lois Christensen said...

Those were hysterical!!! I love the last one. That poor husband!! Thanks for making me laugh!

Here's my email: philipc@ptd.net

Hope you have a great weekend!

Melanie said...

I so love your blog!!
You can find the funniest stuff!
Have a great weekend. :)

ocmist said...

These were REALLY GREAT!!! I laughed and laughed at the "Girl's Weekend Out" joke!!! THAT was GREAT!!! Thanks for the laughs!

Mollye said...

Oh sister this is a scream. The second one is cracking me up for sure. What a gal.