For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Monday, August 16, 2010

Chatty's Thinking . . . Getting seasoned or growing up . . .

This is something I've been thinking about and even talking to a young blogger gal named Katie about - she's young, but she's so smart. She gets things a lot of adults miss.

We're born, our parents teach us how to potty, walk, what to eat, how to think, what to do, how to act, what to think, what to say, how to say it, to be good, to do good in school, be careful, work ethics, homework, grades, and so forth. They tell us what not to do too. Don't touch, don't go without looking both ways - they tell us a lot of good things not to do.

A parents job is hard. I've done it twice on my own and I am sharing it for a 3rd time with my lovely daughter. So I'm not blaming them. We do what we think is best at the time.

It's a parents duty to teach us these things. Don't drink and drive. Don't smoke. Don't take drugs. Be good. Be nice. Don't get mad. Be a good friend. Don't do this and don't do that. By the time we're 10, 11, 12 we have a big list of what to do and what not to do. Hurry up to do this and hurry up to do that. We learn to become stressed and worried. We're always in a hurry.

We spend the next years working hard at school, trying to become popular, working part time jobs, then there's college, and so forth. Do, do, do. We get a job, we get married, have kids, buy a house, cars, a bigger house, a more advanced job, and then more schooling.

We raise our kids, our kids leave, our employers aren't loyal to us, we lose our jobs, sometimes our homes and all of a sudden it hits us. What have we done all this for - why did we do it? Why did we give up the fun years to work so hard when it was going to end this way?

You know what this is called?

Midlife crisis. I think we all go through it in one way or another. Maybe it doesn't follow this pattern exactly. Maybe you wonder why did you marry who you did? Kids? House? Anything. You realize that you were all work and no play. That the time before you is less then the time that's past. You ask yourself if it was worth it or not.

This is the point of life where you can become better or bitter.

So here is the dilemma - we were born free - without knowing any rules. Our parents and society spend the next 20+ years making us learn rules, the next 30 + years we spend following them, and then all of a sudden - the rules change - the rug is pulled out from under us. We question why we believed them in the first place.

The one thing I think we should have told our children - me included was to have some fun along the way. To find some profession that you love doing. Find out who you are before you get married and have children. Have some fun. Work hard and have your values, but have fun. Live life - find out what it is about.

Incorporate both sides of yourself. Don't just grow up - GET SOME SEASONING ALONG THE WAY.

Happy Birthday to Madonna - wikipedia

Madonna performing at her Sticky & Sweet Tour, the highest-grossing tour by a solo artist According to Rolling Stone, Madonna "remains one of the greatest pop acts of all time".

She has achieved multiple Guinness World Records, including world's top-selling female recording artist and the most successful female recording artist of all time. On March 10, 2008, Madonna was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame in her first year of eligibility.

Billboard magazine ranked her as the most successful solo artist (second overall, behind only The Beatles) on the "Billboard Hot 100 All-Time Top Artists".

She has also scored many hits on major international charts, including 13 number-one singles in the United Kingdom, 11 in Australia, and 23 in Canada—more than any other female artist.

Madonna is featured in the book 100 Most Important Women of the 20th Century, published by Ladies' Home Journal in 1998.

Throughout her career Madonna has repeatedly reinvented herself through a series of visual and musical persona's. Madonna's use of shocking sexual imagery has benefited her career and catalyzed public discourse on sexuality and feminism.

The Times stated, "Madonna, whether you like her or not, started a revolution amongst women in music ... Her attitudes and opinions on sex, nudity, style and sexuality forced the public to sit up and take notice." Rodger Streitmatter, author of Sex Sells! (2004), commented that "from the moment Madonna burst onto the nation's radar screen in the mid-1980s, she did everything in her power to shock the public, and her efforts paid off."

Shmuel Boteach, author of Hating women (2005), felt that Madonna was largely responsible for erasing the line between music and pornography. He stated: "Before Madonna, it was possible for women more famous for their voices than their cleavage, to emerge as music superstars. But in the post-Madonna universe, even highly original performers such as Janet Jackson now feel the pressure to expose their bodies on national television to sell albums."

Madonna has received acclaim as a role model for businesswomen in her industry, "achieving the kind of financial control that women had long fought for within the industry", and generating over $1.2 billion in sales within the first decade of her career.

After its establishment, Maverick Records became a major commercial success from her efforts, which was unusual at that time for an artist-established label. Music journalist Robert Sandall said that while interviewing Madonna, it was clear that being "a cultural big hitter" was more important to her than pop music, a career she described as "an accident". He also saw a contrast between her anything-goes sexual public persona and a secretive and "paranoid" attitude toward her own finances; she fired her own brother when he charged her for an extra item.

Professor Colin Barrow of the Cranfield School of Management described Madonna as "America's smartest businesswoman… who has moved to the top of her industry and stayed there by constantly reinventing herself". He held up her "planning, personal discipline and constant attention to detail" as models for all aspiring entrepreneurs.

London Business School academics called her a "dynamic entrepreneur" worth copying; they identified her vision of success, her understanding of the music industry, her ability to recognize her own performance limits (and thus bring in help), her willingness to work hard and her ability to adapt as the key to her commercial success.

Well, can't say I love this gal . . . what is your opinion?


Jane said...

Ah, better or bitter! I love it! You can certainly have some or much control over your own outlook and how you spend your time and energy, up to a point.

Great post as always,


Monica said...

Good post, Chatty! So are you going to have fun along the way?? CHEERS!

Nancy's Notes said...

Oh that was great, bitter or better? Better, of course! Aww..I think I am a seasoned enough already!

Interesting read about Madonna~

Have a great week!

Nancy's Notes

^..^Corgidogmama said...

great post! I think that many of us, put off any joy in our personal lives as we raised our kids. We need to express to our young, that self love is the best and biggest love of all...and the most order to be successful at any other kind of loving. It's the hardest lesson to learn though, isn't it?

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Sandie this was great! You are right better or bitter? I choose BETTER!! I hope I've taught my girls to have some fun along the way...I think I have. I know life keeps throwing me some curve balls but I think I'm stronger for it and will come out OK on the other side.

Knitty said...

We accumulate things then spend more time caring for them than enjoying them. Some accumulate for the wrong impress others rather than because they really would enjoy the bigger house, the boat, etc.

I had a look-down-her-nose-at-others neighbor once who claimed once too often that her floors were clean enough to eat off of. This was meant to be a dig at the rest of us who did not share her zeal in scrubbing every day. I smiled and told her that I had dishes at my house so eating from the floor never was necessary. :)

Choose where and with whom you want to spend your energy. My house is slightly dusty at the moment, but being here with you is more satisfying than dusting and vacuuming. That will get done eventually, but recharging myself here takes priority.

And on the subject of Madonna, I admire her business savvy but don't think of her as a role model to anyone, especially not young girls.

Together We Save said...

Thanks so much for sharing this.... sometime I am lost in the "what I need to do" stage. I really need to slow down before burn out occurs.

Carol............. said...

Better, better and better! Great post and as usual you had something worthwhile to say.

That's why I always come back to visit! LOL

Nezzy said...

Absolutely sister!!!! Life is a blast and we need to teach our children and grandchildren to enjoy. Now go....go now and have a some fun!

God bless ya and enjoy this day we are given.

Are you still here.....go...the funs waitin'...........

Debbie said...

I came here earlier but got distracted before commenting.

I so relate to this post, and I love the part about becoming better or bitter! This is a difficult time in my life. Do I have some regrets? Yep. The one thing that I don't regret is not taking time to enjoy the family raising phase of my life. I have enjoyed every minute of it and am grateful to a husband who always coaxed me to stop and enjoy the journey.

I'm just wondering what the NEXT phase will feel like. I hope I'm ready...

I hope I come out of this "Better" too.

Melanie said...

Great post, Sandie.
We definitely do not want to be bitter!!

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Yep, we have the choice... better or bitter.

Material Girl... couldn't say it better.

Mevely317 said...

Oh wow, I wish I'd read this when I was a young lady. But you know what ... I might not have listened.
This is a GREAT post, Sandie ... I hope you won't mind if I share with my granddaughter (giving credit to you, of course)?

Doris Sturm said...

This is going to sound strange, but I missed my mid-life crisis because I was so busy dealing with my physical pain that thinking of anything else wasn't even a consideration and since the pain has been gone, I'm a happy camper, in spite of it all!

I think another thing parents should teach children, how to handle loss and disappointment because not everyone ends up being a winner - not at first anyway - and there's always going to be someone faster, smarter, prettier and the rest of us "mediocre" folks need to find beauty and strength in different ways. I think spirituality is often overlooked or underrated, but in my opinion, very important and comforting. It also saves a bunch of money on psychiatrist bills later on down the line.
Not all of us can be Madonnas, right?

Susan said...

Hi Sandie....Good, thoughtful post. During the kid raising years, I didn't have as much fun as I would have liked. But I definitely make time for fun now! The impressing is long gone and I am very careful who I spent my life hours with. Grumpy, negative people get the least of my time.

As for Madonna, I wish her well but she's no one I'd give the time of day to. Susan

Rose said...

very good post. we are told what to do all of our lives. life becomes sad if we don't allow ourselves to feel some freedom to let loose and enjoy things in our world. rose

Donna B said...

Excellent post. I think I realized I had to have fun along the way, from listening to others, reading and making observations.

Some times situations get in the way, and the direction we are driving our lives, changes course...

Then is the time for one's attitude and faith come into play.

I actually admire Madonna. I think she is impressive. I did not understand what she was doing in the 80't when she first hit the music scene. I knew my daughters were trying to copy her sexy outfits and I put a huge HALT to it. They were too young, but Madonna is a strong, intelligent woman. She knows how to get what she wants. I have to say, we the public never hear anything about Lourdes, her daughter. I have read and heard rumors she does not let her watch TV, she does the Yoga, and she is very protective of her. Loudes is GORGEOUS and I think will learn from her Mother.

Some of Madonna's "shock fixation" is nn doubt some rebellion to a strict Catholic upbringing.

I really, really, enjoyed this post!

Granny Annie said...

Wow, this was a deep post and has generated some interesting thought. I have survived many of the stages you list and while I wouldn't want to live them over, I did grow and learn from them. My life right now is something I never dreamed would come my way so all forward steps just seem to take me to another interesting stage.

Not a big fan of Madonna as an entertainer but certainly a fan of her ability as a business woman.

Crystal Mary said...

I hear you... It is difficult going from one phase in your life to the next. I loved my time as a mother, it was the most fulfilling time, nothing else comes near it.
At the moment I am not very well, I get there slowly but everything is an effort. Thankfully no matter what else happens in life, I have a very strong faith. None of us know the day or the hour...You think about these things when you are not well.
God bless you heaps Sandie xxx

BECKY said...

Hello Miss Chatty!! Great Post! You were obviously feeling quite philosophical when you wrote it. Someone in the comments mentioned about maybe not listening if they were told this when they were younger. That's the problem with a lot of things in life. When we're young, we don't think the "older" people know what they're talking about!! I am definitely better and happier. I'm at a wonderful stage in my life...Hey, I like that. "Stage" instead of "Age"!! Thanks!

Dogmom Diva said...

Hey Sandie, wow what a great thought provoking post..Better or Bitter. We are at a point in our lives where we have to make that decision. Worked all our lives for this. 'this' is not that bad and lots of folks have much worse and I have to keep telling myself that. But you are right, we spend all those years chasing something..then what?? hmmm...