Chatty Crone: Fun Friday with a little help from my friends . . .

Friday, December 10, 2010

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends . . .

Thanks Nicole for the pictures.

THE KOHL's SHOPPING TRIP (Thank You Jerry - my partner in crime).

(This is just too funny! This could only be true; you simply can't make this stuff up!)

Clutching their Kohl's shopping bags, Ellen and Kay woefully gazed down at a dead cat in the mall parking lot. Obviously a recent hit..no flies, no smell.. What business could that poor kitty have had here?' murmured Ellen..'

'Come on, Ellen, let's just go...'

But Ellen had already grabbed her shopping bag and was explaining, 'I'll just put my things in your bag, and then I'll use this tissue....'

She dumped her purchases into Kay's bag and then used the tissue paper to cradle and lower the former feline into her own Kohl's bag and cover it.

They continued the short trek to the car in silence, stashing their goods in the trunk. But it occurred to both of them that if they left Ellen's burial bag in the trunk, warmed by the Texas sunshine while they ate, Kay's Lumina would soon lose that new-car smell.

They decided to leave the bag on top of the trunk, and they headed over to K & W Cafeteria.

They went through the serving line and sat down at a window table. They had a view of Kay's Chevy with the Kohl's bag still on the trunk.

BUT not for long! As they ate, they noticed a big woman in a red gingham shirt stroll by their car.. She looked quickly this way and that, and then took the Kohl's bag without breaking stride. She quickly walked out of their line of vision. Kay and Ellen shot each other a wide-eyed look of amazement.

It all happened so fast that neither of them could think how to respond. 'Can you imagine?' finally sputtered Ellen.. 'The nerve of that woman!' Kay sympathized with Ellen, but inwardly a laugh was building as she thought about the grand surprise awaiting the female thief.

Just when she thought she'd have to giggle into her napkin, she noticed Ellen's eyes freeze in the direction of the serving line. Following her gaze, Kay recognized the big woman in the red gingham shirt with the Kohl's bag hanging from her arm. She was brazenly pushing her tray toward the cashier.

Helplessly they watched the scene unfold:

After leaving the register, the woman settled at a table across from theirs, put the bag on an empty chair and began to eat.

After a few bites of baked whitefish and green beans, she casually lifted the bag into her lap to survey her treasure. Looking from side to side, but not far enough to notice her rapt audience three tables over, she pulled out the tissue paper and peered into the bag.

Her eyes widened, and she began to make a sort of gasping noise. The noise grew. The bag slid from her lap as she sank to the floor, wheezing and clutching her upper chest. The beverage cart attendant quickly recognized a customer in trouble and sent the busboy to call 911, while she administered the Heimlich maneuver.

A crowd quickly gathered that did not include Ellen and Kay, who remained riveted to their chairs for seven whole minutes until the ambulance arrived. In a matter of minutes, the big woman with the red gingham shirt emerged, still gasping, and securely strapped on a gurney.

Two well-trained EMT volunteers steered her to the waiting ambulance, while a third scooped up her belongings. The last they saw of the distressed cat-burglar was as she disappeared behind the ambulance doors................the Kohl's Bag perched on her stomach!!

God does take care of those who do bad things! AND once in a while... He allows us to witness!

It all began with an iPhone... (Thanks Janet)

March was when my son celebrated his 15th birthday, and I got him an iPhone.
He just loved it. Who wouldn't?

I celebrated my birthday in July, and my wife made me very happy when
she bought me an iPad.

My daughter's birthday was in August so I got her an iPod Touch.

My wife celebrated her birthday in September so I got her an iRon.

It was around then that the fight started......

What my wife failed to recognize is that the iRon can be integrated into the home network

with the iWash, iCook and iClean.

This inevitably activates the iNag reminder service.

I should be out of the hospital by Thursday!!

“Learn to limit yourself; to content yourself with some definite work; dare to be what you are and learn to resign with a good grace all that you are not; and to believe in your own individuality.” Henri-Frederic Amiel

HAPPY DECEMBER AND MERRY CHRISTMAS - MY FRIENDS:

“The happiest business in all the world is that of making friends, And no investment on the street pays larger dividends, For life is more than stocks and bonds, and love than rate percent, And he who gives in friendship's name shall reap what he has.” Anonymous

20 comments:

Furry Bottoms said...: the iRon was a good one!! :); 10:03 AM
Melanie said...: The story about the cat was way too funny!! Sounds like the lady got what she deserved. :)
Thanks for the cookie recipe links. That is a LOT of cookies!!
Have a great weekend. ♥; 10:47 AM
Anonymous said...: Fun funnies, thanks for the smiles.

A BLOGGER NEEDS OUR HELP.

Jo
LazyonLoblolly; 10:51 AM
English Cottage in Georgia said...: Love all the humor. I am leaving your blog with a big smile on my face:-); 1:02 PM
Angela said...: Hey Sandie!

Those are all so funny! I liked them all! I also noticed those cuties on your sidebar! Boy have the twins grown up!

Happy Fun Friday!
Angela; 1:44 PM
MadSnapper said...: the scratching post is my fav on this one. to funny.; 1:57 PM
Susan said...: Wow, Sandie. Never saw so many cookies recipes in one place in my life! Awesome. Cute post. Love your Friday posts. As a matter of fact, I love ALL your posts! Susan; 2:13 PM
betty said...: my gosh! One could never say they couldn't find a cookie recipe with that impressive list you posted! Thanks Sandie (I haven't baked cookies in years, LOL, but I just might this year)

I loved the iRON joke and the Kohl's story FUNNY! Especially liked the husband's day care one!

thanks for starting my busy weekend off on a good laugh (garage sale tomorrow and I haven't even begun to look for what I'm going to sell :)

betty; 4:13 PM
Ginny Hartzler said...: I loved the stories! Gosh, what a lot of cookies!! It must have taken you all night to post this!!; 4:27 PM
Nezzy (Cow Patty Surprise) said...: I love it and sooo needed the laugh after the day I've had. Lost my little MIL for a short time. Oh sometimes life is no fun!

God bless and have a most stupendous day sweetie!!!; 4:49 PM
Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...: The husband daycare center is hilarious! I don't do much shopping, but I could definitely ditch the hubby there for a few hours at a bookstore!; 4:50 PM
Tanna said...: My gosh, Sandie, that is more cookie recipes that I could have imaginged! LOL! I LOVE the Kohl's story! Priceless! Have a good evening!; 5:23 PM
jp@A Green Ridge said...: OMG! I don't know where to begin! That monster list of cookies! I LOVE IT! The opening about YOURSELF...I LOVE it! The comics...I adore them too...almost as much as YOU!:)JP; 6:44 PM
Jane said...: Lvoe the funnies... that iRon is a good one!

Jane; 7:11 PM
Mevely317 said...: My goodness, girl ... I think you've outdone yourself today ... I'm laughing so hard!
I have to share these cookie links with my gal-pals.; 9:47 PM
Sharon said...: Thanks for visiting my blog and the comment about my corgi girls!
Your block is so funny! Love it!
Please visit again.; 12:05 AM
Sue said...: You amaze me how much you can pack into one blog post.....loved the cartoons and ofcourse all the cookie recipes!!; 12:53 AM
Maria@BubblegumandDuctTape said...: Hi Sandie,
I'm so behind on my visits. Love the cat story, was laughing so hard. I hope I don't get an iRon for Christmas, lol.

Hope you have a wonderful weekend, thanks for the laughs and the cookie recipes, yum!; 2:01 AM
Dena said...: Oh my gosh, that story about the cat had me gasping over here! Too funny! I liked the IRon story too ;) Thanks, I needed that!!

Hugs,
Dena; 10:18 AM
Doris Sturm said...: Where do you find that stuff, Sandie? I enjoyed that post. I loved that story with the cat in the bag! I wish I would have seen that...it's very seldom one gets to witness justice in action!

That recipe link is the BEST - I like the Eggnog cookies and Snickerdoodles...what a great link!

Thank you!; 7:52 PM