For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, July 13, 2012

Fun Friday With a Little Help From My Friends



Yesterday I was at my local COSTCO buying a large bag of Purina dog chow for my loyal pet, Jake, the Wonder Dog and was in the check-out line when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant? 

So because I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Purina Diet again. 

I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a Perfect Diet and that the way that it works is, to load your pants pockets with Purina Nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it  works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in line was now enthralled with my story.) 

Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care, because the dog food poisoned me.  I told her no, I stepped off a curb to sniff a poodle's bottom and a car hit me.

I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. Costco won't let me shop there anymore.  

Better watch what you ask retired people. They have all the time in the world to think of crazy things to say.


Okay is that not the truth or not?

In case you are worried . . .

You're safe.

Sorry guys - I'm just 'funning' with you.


Dare to get out and live!


Grammy Goodwill said...

I'm at the car dealership waiting for new tires and I burst out laughing at your "diet" story. I should have known there would be a joke in there somewhere. hehehe Love all the others, too. Just saw that you won a writer's award - and justly so - from Southamsdarling.

Changes in the wind said...

Yep...all our troubles begin with men:)

Tanna at The Brick Street Bungalow said...

Oh, what a diet!! Sandie, thank you so much for your prayers and your sweet words. They mean the world to me. Thank you again. blessings ~ tanna

ruthie said...

You never cease to put a smile on my face! Have a great weekend!

Debbie said...

One of the best stories on here EVER! That's so funny, and the last thought for the day is so true, isn't it?

Annmarie Pipa said...

wish I were in Costco shopping yesterday.
haha thanks for the laugh!
happy weekend!

Nancy Claeys said...

Love the German Shepherd puppy! Thanks for the smiles, Sandie. xo

Pat @ Mille Fiori Favoriti said...

I'm having some trouble reading the beginning of this post, Sandie, as your sidebar photos are overlapping your text a little

I did see something about Costco know it's hard to resisit their goodies.

Loved all the funny photos! have a good weekend!

Renae said...

That retirement/dog food story would be something my sister would think up. Once we're driving down a major street in SLC and she all of a sudden is driving with her eyes shut because she said her Aziza with sealer mascara had kicked in and her eyes were sealed shut. I started screaming and grabbing the steering wheel to save us, cuz I thought her eyes were stuck shut!!! [she had only her right eye shut - the only eye i could see as she had her head facing forward]. When I figured it out I was so miffed yet laughing at myself and at her!!!!!

Sandie, have an awesome day!!!!!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

That Costco story was hilarious!

Starry Dawn said...

Hi Sandie, sweet friend,
You always put a smile on my face.
This story is another amazing one.
I love dog's stories, and animal's stories in general.
Your wisdom certainly touch my heart in a special way.
Thank you so much for visiting my sites, and offering your heartfelt writings!! You are a great inspiration for many folks, dear.
God bless you, Sandie,and those
you love, darling!!
Have a blessed weekend!!
Today is Friday the 13th, but our dear Lord, Jesus Christ is my Savior, so I don't have to worry about anything. Jesus is my Lord and Savior. Praise the Lord!!
Poet Starry. said...

Yes, you did make my day better! said...

I just read the Aziza, with sealer, mascara story my sister wrote. It's true. I the older sister took undue advantage, but it was Sooooooo fun.

My Journey With Candida said...

Hi Sandie, Hope you have a GREAT weekend. I seen that Friday the 13th cat yesterday on facebook... so funny

Grandma Yellow Hair said...

OMG when I stop laughing I will leave a comment.
Honey you are too darn funny.

Tuscany Talks said...

Love the pictures!! And so true about the "men" epidemic!! lol

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Ok my first visit here and love this post so bloody funny and I have not heard this one before so that made it better......or should that read funnier......whichever I liked it....

This woman agrees that men cause a lot of problems for us

Lisa @ Two Bears Farm said...

Great funnies today! :-)

Thisisme. said...

Here's another lady that thinks men can cause a lot of problems for us! Loved your story about the diet. So funny!! You never fail to make us all smile, and we can all do with that in our lives. I have a similar little sign about nobody notices that the housework has been done, unless she hasn't done it!Sending hugs your way my friend.

Elizabeth said...

I can't wait to read your Purina Diet story to my family. They will bust a gut.

I clicked on your link from a comment you posted on Life at the Ballpark. Who could resist looking at what someone called Chatty Crone might say?

~Lavender Dreamer~ said...

I get out and live a know with that day pass? heehee! Love your funnies, girlfriend! Enjoy your weekend!

SquirrelQueen said...

I almost fell off my chair laughing when I scrolled down to the cat. Love the Costco story.