Fun Friday with a little help from my friends.

“Laughter is the fireworks of the soul.”

Josh Billings (1818-1885)

HOLY  E-MAIL 
One day God was looking down at earth and saw all of the rascally behavior that was going on...So He called His angels and sent one to earth for a time.
When the angel returned, he told God, 'Yes, it is bad on earth; 95% are misbehaving and only 5% are not.

God thought for a moment and said, 'Maybe I had better send down a second angel to get another opinion.'
So God called another angel and sent her to earth for a time.When the angel returned she went to God and said, 'Yes, it's true. The earth is in decline; 95% are misbehaving, but 5% are being good...'

God was not pleased.
So He decided to e-mail the 5% who were good, because He wanted to encourage them, and give them a little something to help them keep going.

Do you know what the e-mail said?

 Okay, I was just wondering, because I didn't get one either.

EXERCISE FOR PEOPLE OVER 50

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato bag in each hand, extend your arms straight out

from your sides and hold them there as long as you can.

Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato bags.

Then try 50-lb potato bags and then eventually try to get to where

you can lift a 100-lb potato bag in each hand and hold your arms

straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.) 

After you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each bag.

Fran

 

Holiday Reminder

With the Holidays upon us I would like to share a personal experience with my friends about drinking and driving.
As you may know some of us have been known to have brushes with the authorities from time to time on the way home after"social session" out with friends.

Well two days ago I was out for an evening with friends and had several cocktails followed by some rather nice red wine.
Feeling jolly I still had the sense to know that I may be slightly over the limit.
That's when I did something that I've never done before - I took a cab home.
Sure enough on the way home there was a police roadblock but since it was a cab they waved it past.
I arrived home safely without incident.

This was a real surprise as I had never driven a cab before, I don't know where I got it and now that it's in my garage I don't know what to do with it....
Jerry at As The CrackerHead Crumbles

Why do supermarkets make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front?


Why do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke?


Why do banks leave vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters?


Why do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in our driveways and put our useless junk in the garage?


EVER WONDER ...


Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?


Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?


Why don't you ever see the headline 'Psychic Wins Lottery'?


Why is 'abbreviated' such a long word?

Why is it that doctors call what they do 'practice'?


Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavoring, and dish washing liquid made with real lemons?

Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?


Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?


Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?


Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?


Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?


You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?


Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?


If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Thanks Joe.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: