"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Monday, May 11, 2020

A multi-generation view living with Covid 19.


FIRST OF ALL TO THE WOMEN OUT THERE:
HOPE YOU HAD A HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY YESTERDAY




VENTING 101

First of all - my heart goes out first to Covid Patients and their families.
It is horrific.  I am so sorry and I pray for you.
This is nothing in comparison to that.

This is just a view of what it is like to live in this time of Covid 19 in a multi-generational family.
It ain't that easy!!!!

I have moaned and groaned about this so much.  Everyone knows about Covid -19 and for the most part they can decide whether they want to stay in or go out. Wear a mask and gloves or not.  They have a choice.  Shop or not shop.  Eat out or eat in.  Go on vacation or stay home.

I live in what is called a multi-generational family.  I feel their are four generations here.  
It's been a challenge for me.

I can do what I need to do - but I can't force others to do what I think they should do.

I have a 19 year old grandson - and you know at that age they think they will live forever and that things don't happen to them like it does others.  Also the news does say that age group is not the risk group. He wants to go go go! In fact this week he went with his girlfriend and her parents to a beach in Alabama - her parents idea.  He also lives here while he attends college - his college has 40,000 students - so far it is call on life - but what about in September?

My daughter is the middle generation I guess you'd say - the 40's.  She's the best about being careful for Covid here although she does run errands every day.  She washes her hands - wears gloves - wipes things down. She's a teacher at a school with near 1000 students - of course it has been on line for now - what about in August?  She would probably be safe too.  

I have a husband who is in the decade older than me - who is not as worried about the virus as I am.  He doesn't feel that masks are necessary, but he will do it for me. He just wants to get out so bad!  Today his remote control radio field is going to open and I think that he will be much happier!!!
Now this I agree - he is worried about the economy - I am too.  He thinks everyone needs to get out and back to work.  That is true too. He has a part time job in the county that has been delayed, but will open eventually and he will be seeing hundreds of people.   
I don't know if he would be safe or not if he got it - but safer than me.

Me - I'm in my 60's.   I wear a mask.   I am going out - with precautions. I wear a mask. I order food out and clean it when I get home.  I order groceries and clean them. I am careful with the mail and packages.  I am over 65 with definite risk factors.  I feel if I get Covid- 19 - I will be the one in trouble. 

I  admit I was a bit of a maniac last month - and my grandson for the 'most part' stayed in place - which I appreciated - but here in Georgia - there is no shelter in place anymore - except for us over 65 - we have two more weeks.

My problem is that - I can shelter in place - but if others in my family don't - am I sheltering in place?

Yes it is my house, but it is theirs too.  It is what it is here.  I can't change the reality of  that.

I have to learn to change and accept what it is and it' hard for me.  I know I frustrate my family, but . .

I am a breast cancer survivor - and there isn't a day that goes by that I don't remember that.
It changed me for the better.  I appreciate life more than someone who has not had a severe challenge.

We are all going to die - but we also want to live. Life is precious - but what is it about Covid 19 that is so scary????


(Thank you I'm Ma!)

So what is my plan?  

I know that I'm tougher than this virus.
No matter what - everything is going to turn out okay because I know the end of the story!!!

So  my plan is that I'm giving it up to God  (I know not doing it perfectly, but I am trying hard). 
I can't fight what the reality of what is here.  
God knows this.

It's just hard living in a multi-generational household.

Does anyone else have this problem? What do you think? How do you handle it?





My answer  for everyone would be for right now would be that everyone wear masks and wash their hands.  





My friend sent me this - this is not the first time we have been in a pandemic.










Disco is about 'Pandemic'  Out.





Chatty Comedy in the Pandemic:




Something to think about:






I am sending you all a hug!



P.S. If you have gotten this far - it is our 46th wedding anniversary today too - Covid style - we are going out for our favorite lunch - Chicago Dogs to eat in the car picnic style.

40 comments:

Sandi said...

Happy Anniversary!

I am very tired of the word Covid. I don't like it one bit!

"... Life is precious - but what is it about Covid 19 that is so scary????"

Yes. Good question. I don't know either, but it is all very, very strange. People 6000 miles away are doing what we are doing. Has this ever happened before? Thanks for sharing the masks photos from the Spanish Flu. (Those two women look so elegant!) We have stayed inside before, a bit. I guess the Internet spreads the word these days and everyone goes inside.

Natalia said...

Thanks you do much for your wishes! In Poland Mother's Day is actually on 26 of May, so I will have to wait a bit for my celebration☺ Super interesting about the epidemic during XIX century,didn't know about this! I am so scared of this virus, so we mostly stay home. And we have to wear masks in here whenever we go out. Stay safe everyone!☺

Laurie said...

I feel pretty much as you do,, the risks are real, I have a grandson the same age as yours, I worry fir him, he lives in U.S , I live in Canada, restrictions are tighter here than where he lives and I worry about his safety and him bringing covid home to my daughter and son-in-law. We can do all we want to protect ourselves but if others we live with do not take precautions our own are futile. We need to work together. I’ve also come to the point where I’m handing this one over to God because I’m just exhausted thinking of all the what if’s and maybes.

Linda Tucker said...

I believe in taking care of myself even if it means "rubbing someone the wrong way." It is your home so people who come to your home should respect the way you feel. I don't allow anyone into my house with a cigarette, so no one will come into my home until I am ready and then they may need to wear a mask and gloves. This is to protect me and them.
I think our country USA is much too lax. I think Natalia's country will recover much quicker than us. I rarely speak my mind, but this virus has brought out the lion in me. I'm very weary with the ignorance that is causing so much death and sorrow.

Theresa said...

Happy anniversary and I read EVERY word. I can SO relate to this post. While it is only the husband and myself, he doesn't see the need for all of the precautions as I do. He gets out every day to do his walk of 12-13 miles and hasn't stopped. He doesn't come in contact with anyone and he feels safe doing it. ME? I have a been paranoid to say the least, wearing a mask when I go to the store and doing the cleaning like you are doing. We will get thru this and I hope it won't be long. Have a blessed day dear friend, HUGS!

Cheri said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY! I think we are all over this pandemic but I still think we ought to take precautions when going out.

Granny Annie said...

Happy Mother's day to you and yes, Happy Anniversary. (I read that far). Very informative post. Thanks for commenting on mine.

Sandra said...

Happy Anniversary, i love hot dogs so yay for that. we had pizza delivered yesteday, which is the first food not prepared by me in 10 weeks. you do have issues to be aware of and it sounds like you have it all under control. or as much as you can.

JFM/Jan said...

I,too share your fears and frustrations.
Luckily my hubby and children understand and cope with my insecurities in this pandemic.
Loved seeing the photos from the 1918 pandemic...it made that terrible period more real to see mask covered faces, too. They were also photos of hope. The world is still here and future generations live on.
Wonderful post...the touch of humor PERFECT!!!

Stay Safe 🌷☕🌞

LL Cool Joe said...

Happy Anniversary!

Here in the UK we have been in lockdown, nowhere apart supermarkets and Chemists are open so we've not been out at all. I'm here with my partner and older daughter and we are just not going ANYWHERE. We have our food delivered, and that's it. My older daughter's university was closed and won't open until September, so fortunately we don't have a choice, so I think that makes it easier to cope with in a way.

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Happy Anniversary to you ! Hope you enjoy that lunch out ! Being her by myself, I'd say you have the better part. I think it would be wonderful to have someone else here to live with. It's terrible being by yourself all the time. I think you've got a good handle on keeping things in control there. We can only do so much. Prayers for your Grandson that he stays healthy. Hopefully his youth will keep him safe. Putting ourselves in God's hands is the best possible place to be. Just keep doing what you're doing and all should be well. Hape you had a Happy Mother's Day. It was a very different one here. e

Bijoux said...

Happy Anniversary! I totally understand where you are coming from. I read a good article on transmission. It's hard to catch the virus outdoors and it's very slim chances if you are in a big box store for an hour. Greater chance is in small shops and restaurants. Church is also bad due to the singing expelling so much. People you live with is the greatest chance of transmission. It's all about proximity and length of exposure.

I am shopping as needed at places like Target and Lowe's now and wearing a mask. Unfortunately, my husband has to go back to work next week. He has his own office and there will only be about 5 others working in his dept, so hopefully he can stay safe. The library my daughter works at still hasn't announced an opening.

Cathy said...

First of all...Happy Anniversary!!

I have such mixed feelings about all of this. Typically I do not wear a mask, but I do carry a Lysol wipe in stores and continually wipe my hands when I touch anything. I kind of think this may be even better than wearing gloves.

I'm also a cancer survivor and it makes me rethink things too. I'm almost 63 so there's that too. I finished treatment in 2016 and so I talked with oncologist and asked if my chemo would make me more susceptible to Covid and he said no. That by this time my system would have rebuilt itself from where chemo tore it down. So I've continued working, but just take precautions. I'm trying to leave the rest up to God like you said.

Stay safe!!

Sandee said...

♪♫Happy Anniversary to you,♪♫
♪♫Happy Anniversary to you,♪♫
♪♫Happy Anniversary Dear Friend,♪♫
♪♫Happy Anniversary to you.♪♫

I'm not worried about this virus one bit. In our county of 550,000 twenty people have died from the virus. All of them resided in rest homes. I'm not worried about this virus.

Have a fabulous day and week, my friend. ♥

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Happy anniversary to you both - great post ... living with many generations must be somewhat challenging ... but you seem to be doing well. Take care, stay safe ... and what will be, will be - we just don't know what's ahead do we - and can only protect ourselves. All the best - Hilary

jack69 said...

FIRST: HAPPY ANNIVERSARY I do hope it is a wonderful day for you guys in spite of the situation.

SECOND: Well expressed, frustrations that reign among the different generations. We don't face it as you do in your home, but think I understand the concerns.
YOu have done well saying what many think.
Love from up in NC
Sherry & jack Stay safe....

Ginny Hartzler said...

Happy anniversary! I hope you have as wonderful a day as possible under the circumstances! I totally understand, I was raised in a four generation family. You are in such a hard spot right now. Especially with your grandson!! Having been so ill, you for sure understand better than any of them how precious each day is.

Mevely317 said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY!!!
Thank you for allowing us a glimpse inside your 'new normal.' (Whatever THAT means.) Trying to please all the people, all the time - yikes! My 21 y/o granddaughter sounds a lot like Andy; she's all the time back and forth to Auburn to see her friends. Tom's concerned about Alabama opening up too soon. We're in agreement to sit back a few weeks and see how things progress; praying there won't come a spike in numbers.

Lowcarb team member said...

Hope you had a happy Mothers Day … and Happy 46th wedding anniversary wishes.

I do think the younger generation have a different take/view on Covid 19, but then they have a different take on so many things!

We just each of us have to do the best we can, take each day and take something positive from it.

Sending my good wishes.

All the best Jan

Abby said...

You've explained the anxiety of a multi-generational household very well. Everyone has a valid point of view, and I hope you can remain at peace.
Happy 46th! I look forward to you celebrating 47 and beyond!

Terri D said...

May 11th was a good day to get married!! Happy anniversary to us both! I am over wearing a mask but put mine on when it is required. I wash my hands and sanitize but I don't wipe down packaged groceries of boxes that arrive at our door. We are careful but are not overly worried and we are happy to be getting out and about again. We ate lunch in a restaurant today. Stay well!! We all have to do what is right for each of us.

betty said...

Happy belated Mothers Day and a happy anniversary! It is hard living in a household with multiple ages and desires to go out or stay at home. Hubby and me are on the same page about going out when things reopen which they have started to. I visited grandson yesterday afternoon for 2 hours and DIL and me both agreed next time we are told to shelter in place we are going to shelter together. We are cautious but I pray daily for safety and for us not to get sick. Just continue to trust God. That is all we can do. I feel it will be months until churches reopen. For me that is sad. The online thing is not the same.

Betty

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

I am staying home as in not going shoping or anywhere except with Leo to meet his driver and I sit outside for 10-15 minutes each day.

Lee said...

Firstly...Happy Anniversary, Sandie! I hope you enjoyed your special day...along with Mother's Day...it's been party, party, party, with you! :)

Your post is well-written...expresses your thoughts and feelings perfectly.

As I live alone...sole human, that is...with my two furry mates...and I have no family close by, or afar...it is much easier for me, I guess during this trying time. I understand it must be far more difficult in a multi-generational family like your own..all under the same roof.

Common sense must prevail...for the good of one's own self...and that of others...as the saying goes..."this too shall pass..." Let's hope soon so everyone can get back to living their lives...and the economy starts rolling upwards again.

Take good care, Sandie...my best thoughts and wishes to you, and to your loved ones. :)

Lost_without_a_Map said...

My son is 18. This was his senior year of high school.
I will tell you this...
He and his friends NEVER abides by the stay-at-home rules. When the city was shut down, they took the dogs out hiking. When the weather was bad, they hunkered at one another's home and dud typical teenager boy stuff.
Was I worried?
Yes.
...but, mostly about keeping my refrigerator filled with food when my home became the one chosen for that day (which most times ended into sleepovers).
Was I scared?
Yes?
No?
Parenting is scary. When my son is in the kitchen dealing with raw chicken, that scares the HECK out of me.
Covid?
Scary?
Honestly?
No.
Why?
Ever seen the movie 'Wag the Dog'? Check it out. It gave me a whole new outlook in news reporting.
I will tell you this.
We as a family were big into getting the flu vaccines and such. One year, every facility advertised 'Free Flu Shots Here'. THAT scared me.
Have not gotten one since.
I am not an anti-vaxer, but I sure hope this free country I live in will not force me to get a Covid vaccine.
Am I scared?
Yes.
Of the economy. Too many small businesses have closed down. I just don't know how we will heal financially from this.
How many evictions will result from this?

Happy Anniversary!
You can tell you two are comfortable with one another because a newly married lady would never risk eating a messy hotdog. Lol.
Congratulations.

We as a country will be okay.
We have no choice to be.
Parenting is the most difficult thing EVER and look at how we survive it.
I am proud of my son and his friends.
THEY prove that we did good parenting and that LIFE TRULY IS WORTH LIVING AND ENJOYING.

Lost_without_a_Map said...

I forgot to add a point...
I live in Colorado.
My mom lives in Georgia.
I called her daily to ensure she was self quarantining.
This was simply an advantage to us living so far apart from one another because I am sure if we lived closer, things would have been different.
...my mom has no issue telling me 'no', but I don't believe I have ever heard her utter that word to her grandkids.
One more thing to mention that my mom said.
Now, my mom lives in church and every word spoken us praising the love of God.
The last time I spoke to her, she said something to the nature of the nursing homes having a high death rate because they are not in control of the medications they receive.
My church going mom believes 'testing' was going on in those facilities.
I had no response to her belief.
I know history.
It was just shocking to me to hear her speak of such.

Starting Over, Accepting Changes - Maybe said...

I have read a lot about the Spanish Flu and we seem to be going down the same path as they did. However, we have more science on our side. I feel for you Sandie, and know the anxiety you must be going through. It is only me and my retired man and we are doing everything to stay safe, however, as you said, what will be, will be. Keep doing what you have to do and ask those that love you to respect your fears.

Saimi said...

Yeah, you're in a predicament living in a multi generational house. Our family surprised me by coming over for Mothers Day. They've all been good about taking precautions prior to coming home and we all just hung out together and didn't go anywhere. I love the clip you shared about Noah, how true was that. We are living in a crazy time, nothing new to the world but new to us.
Take care!!
Saimi

photowannabe said...

Sorry I am a bit late in commenting on your post.
Happy Anniversary to you two.
This is really a difficult time for everyone here in Northern California too.
Not wild about all of the decisions our Gov. has made in our state but I will abide by them as the bible says, render to Caesar what is Caesars...though some of it I do grudgingly.
I will wear my mask when going to the grocery and some drive through and curbside pickup restaurants,
Wipes are my best friend and when my son and family come over we do social distance..actually on Mother's Day we gave each other hugs for the first time in 2 months..Deliciously wonderful...
I'm not ready to do dine-in restaurants or back to church yet..but that's okay too. Hubby is 78 and I an 76...better safe than sorry. I know who holds my future but I would like to be around and healthy for a few more years.
Sue

Debby@Just Breathe said...

No you are not sheltering in place if they are not following the rules. If Mark runs somewhere, he wears a mask and gloves, takes off his clothes, puts them in the wash and he goes and showers. It's too big of a risk to me. If they are wearing masks outside the house and washing/sanitizing their hands often I guess it is somewhat safe but they have to do that. They have to keep a mask on outside the house or they will just bring it home to you. I couldn't do what you are doing. I put on a mask and gloves to pee at Adam and Gabby's when we are doing our social distancing. Since we sit at least 10 ft apart we are not wearing masks because of James but we have done this for six weeks in a row now. So far so good. I'm worried about you. ((Hugs))

Angela said...

Happy Anniversary!!!

Well, I'm not happy about what they call the "new normal"! I have been staying in. I absolutely love being able to stay home. My husband is considered an essential employee so he has been going to work but only about 2 other people and sometimes just 1 other person are in the office. They work in their own offices. I feel alright with this. This week though his office is trying to reopen. Half the staff will work Monday and Tuesday. Everyone works from home on Wednesday and the other half works in the office Thursday and Friday. Everyone works from home on the days they are not in the office.

I've been ordering our groceries online and my husband picks them up on his way home from work. My first order I got most everything I ordered. My second time ordering I only got about half of what I ordered. My husband has one of the N95 masks. I think he already had it from where he has been working on a Bronco. I haven't asked. Maybe his work gave it to him. I'm not sure. lol

I almost think that I may have already had this virus at the end of February. It was really hard to get over it and I still get winded if I do too much. There are a lot of people in my area that think we had it already. If I did have it my husband and son didn't get whatever it was that I had.

I'm going to copy my comment and add to it for a future blog post! lol

Hugs girl!

Angela

Red Rose Alley said...

Sandie, I could relate to this whole post, and I feel for you so much. I am also living with about three generations, and like you, I'm more cautious during this time. The girls do understand my feelings, but like you said, we live with different generations who just think differently. There are times when I get so sentimental and weepy because it seems that the other generations don't get what we're feeling, not totally anyways. But what you said about giving it up to God is a perfect statement, and such a good reminder. And I smiled when you said "no matter what, everything is going to turn out Ok" because I believe that too.

That was so strange to read the public notice about the Spanish Influenza back then. I'm going to pass that on to the girls. I know that was a bad time in history too.

I love the Noah quote as well. What a great post this is today, Sandie. I really liked it and it was comforting in so many ways, as I am in the middle of chaos and boxes from the move.

Sending a comforting hug to you, my blog sister.

Sheri

Red Rose Alley said...

ps.....Happy Anniversary! Chicago dogs is the perfect food both of you today. And eating them in the car picnic style is even better. ; )

Nastya Deutsch said...

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Susan said...

Well, hot ziggedy dogger....HOW did I miss this post? Just found it on my sidebar. Oh well, better late than never, right? Happy (late) Anniversary to you and your sweetie. I think you got married one year before us. I am glad you are trying to stay safe. This pandemic is very, very scary and it seems like it's quite long, as well. I truly think we are all going to have to adjust to living the "new normal," whatever that is. Stay safe, Sandie. Hugs. Susan

Jim said...

HAPPY 46 ANNIVERSARY GUYS!!!
You are about like us, a decade apart, I am the older, we are another decade and plus older than you guys. My motto is "I've done every thing I need to do and most things I want to do so it is okay for me to go."
When we first started with this mess I had a premonition that I would die. Now I'm not so sure. But flattening the curve just stretches things out longer, they never talked about that. It was said that one half of the populations would have this virus before things die down.
Our numbers are still going up here in Texas but people are exhausting their resources. So the mayors and the governor are going ahead now. The governor is pushing harder than our larger city mayors and overruling their rules if they are too hard. Like fines for disobeying all the rules. And he doesn't like the Houston mayor. We are not in a city and in a different county than most of Houston.
I will worry and pray for you being the most vulnerable in your household. We are both also in the elderly and vulnerable category, Mrs. Jim has asthma and my cardio system is all patched up.
I hate to see those big old trees go, about as sad as our old and famous buildings.
Thank you for peeking in. Stay Safe,
..

Jim said...

Forgot to mention that my grandmother died from the flu in 1917 or 18. Mom was seven and lived knowing for the rest of her life that she killed her mother by bringing the flu home from school.
..

NanaDiana said...

Belated Happy Anniversary, Sandie. I don't envy you with all the people in and out of your home. It is a scary business indeed. John is not doing well and his resistance is way down so I worry about him. He has not been venturing out much but I don't think he is as careful as he could be either. It's a crazy world we live in today!
Stay safe- you are in my prayers! Hugs- Diana

photowannabe said...

Hi Sandie, in answer to your question on my blog..No my hubby and I are not missionaries but we did go on a "mission trip" with 4 other people from our church...Bayside Covenant Church.
We went to help a "church" out in the bush of the Rift Valley, Namuncha, Kenya.
We lived in tents with the Masai people. It was one of the most blessed times of my life. We also visited a Compassion International site to see the work that was being done between 2 tribes..the Kukuyu and Masai. They had been at war and killing so many. God had worked a miracle there and brought peace.
Sometime I will have to repost some of the photos. I have done it before but maybe it's time again. The year of the trip was 2009. Seems like yesterday though.
Sue

Starry Dawn said...

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, SANDIE!!
I'm sure you all had a Happy Mother's Day!
Your post is well-written, and perfectly expresses your thoughts and feelings.
I don't have the problem with a multi-generational family.
Dr. Paul is a Retired Physician Surgeon, and we live alone with our cat.
Yes! We are old folks, and more vulnerable than young ones. But, it is all
up to God what will happen in the future, whether we live or not.
I hardly ever go outside, I love mostly like a Hermit. Dr. Paul goes outside
to buy groceries and medications. He wears a Mask. He washes his hands and so on. Of course, we protect ourselves as much as we can. Yet, we never know
the ultimate outcome of this pandemic outbreak worldwide. Dr. Paul tells me
that his paternal grandfather, the father of his father, was killed by the
Spanish Influenza back in the early 1900's. His father, the older child, had to provide for his mother and his brothers. He was in his early 20's.
The History repeats itself. What goes around comes around eventually...
Let's pray to God, leave it to God, and not worry that much, my friend!
If you worry too much, you are not going to change anything, because the things will happen anyway, like it or not. So don't worry!...
I'm also a survivor of many kind of diseases, so I do appreciate life.
If I have to go outside, I'll wear a MASK. My problem is the fact that I suffer from Asthma with Asthma Attacks, and I can hardly breathe in normal situations. Therefore, it's so very hard for me to cover my nose, I'll die.
I pray these evil things will pass, although I don't know when...
I'll also try to stay away from people. I never go to gatherings.
I am sort of a loner, a lonely person, almost a hermit, living away from the rat race. I would like to live in a country side, away from crowded cities.
My daughter and my 3 grandchildren live in New York. They are all doing fine. I speak to her a couple of times a month. I pray for everybody.
May God have Mercy!