"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Monday, October 24, 2022



I have a question that I need help with.  Remember we moved to an apartment, and it is working out wonderfully except you really have to decide what you need and what you don't need.

I was given a quilt a few years ago by a fellow blogger who I love and am still in touch with.  I love it and I use it all the time.  And it is my color - blue and aqua. 

Well, another dear friend gave four of us girls different quilts.  She gave me a golden and muted green lap quilt.  I know so much work goes into these quilts, and it is quite beautiful, but it's not my color, and I won't use is.  So, it sits in my closet and takes up room, precious room and I hate for it not to be used.

I would like to find some way to give it back to her, without hurting her feelings.  Should I?  And if so - do you have any suggestions how to say it to her? I can't give it to someone else or get rid of it.


This is from Chef Andy.  My grandson.  He is really not a chef, but he did come over one day and make us all a hamburger. 

It was delicious!!

He cooked it at HIGH heat, and I thought we'd set the fire alarm off or have the sprinklers spurting out from the ceiling, but we opened the doors, and it aired out fine. ☺

And the clean-up, oh vey.

♥ It was worth it though. ♥


ellie said...

Maybe you could pass it on to one of your relatives. I dunno if giving it back would be a good idea. I am sure she would want your family to enjoy it, somehow. Of course, I have had relatives who have given me things and then wanted them back. I displayed an old quilt that my mom had used as a picnic blanket, the dog slept on it. I was for certain she wouldn't want it back, but after she saw it hanging on the wall she wanted it back.

Another sad moment is when you have given relatives photos of your kids and they want to give them back. So I hope you won't have any sad moments with your friends.

Mevely317 said...

'Chef Andy' can cook for me any time! Oh man, that looks delicious. What all's in there? Burger, mozarella?, onion ring, ???(can't see) and over-easy egg?

Gosh, I don't know about the lap quilt. I still think honesty's the best policy; perhaps she'd offer to switch it out for one in another, more pleasing shade?

I'm mostly known as 'MA' said...

Giving a gift back would be very hard, I like the idea of passing it on to one of you relatives that could use it.

Chez Cheri said...

I don't think I would give it back but find someone else, maybe at an Assisted Living place, that could use it.

jack69 said...

I am a little slow on the 'quilt thinking' BUT reading what MA and Chez suggested seems best..... Tough decision. WOW what a sandwich looks delicious, but I can't decide how I would attack it, BUT I DEFINITELY would!!
Love you lady and the best on looking for a sweet answer to the dilemma.
The best... Sherry & jack enjoying the visit to your apartment.....

Ginny Hartzler said...

Do NOT give it back to her, under any circumstances! No matter how tactfully it is done, she will be terribly hurt, and she could become resentful. A whole lot of love and work went into making it, and it would be a slap in the face to return it. You could give it to Goodwill or a church charity, just make sure it is not a place where she is likely to see it. Now I want a burger! No matter how good men can cook, they never seem to be good at cleaning up.

MadSnapper said...

I think I would send her an email or call, which every you do. explain you downsized and are cutting way back and would like to know that since the quilt meant so much to you, would she mind if you paid it forward and gave the quilt to someone who needs it.. that burger is how I like mine, charred and the clean up is horrid

Jo-Anne's Ramblings said...

A difficult question which I have no answer

acorn hollow said...

hmmm giving it back would be very hard. But maybe being honest and saying you have moved, and you need to downsize as much as possible would she like it back or should you pass it on to someone who would use it.

Terri D said...

I love hamburgers with an egg on them. Crazy but so good! As for the quilt, your friend knows you moved and downsized. I would ask her if she wants it back or if you can donate it to a hospice facility or a nursing home. Let her know how much it means to you and that you can't just give it away without letting her know she can have it back or help you decide where to donate. I love your heart and I'm sure she does too!

betty said...

I like what Terri said in her comment. I probably would just give it away without saying something but since that doesn't seem to be an option, then letting your friend know how much you appreciate it but need the room, I would hope she would understand. I would. Yum on that hamburger!


photowannabe said...

My gut feeling is don't give it back to her no matter how you explain it I think it will hurt her.
I remember when I was newly married and wanted to give the "perfect" gift to my Mother in Law for her birthday.
She never bought new dresses and so my Mom and I went to buy her that dress for church. Her favorite color was blue and she had very spacific tastes.
We found the dress we were happy with , in her size and all the particulars.
I never saw her wear it and asked her about it. She said she "sold" it to her friend that needed a dress for something.
I was shocked and still feel that icky feeling in the pit of my stomach just writing this.
I had invested too much of myself in that purchase...that's what made it hurt so badly.
Emotions and feelings are so tender...be mindful in your decision.
I don't know what your answer is but...

Red Rose Alley said...

I think you should ask some family if they want the quilt before giving it away, and there are people who would love that quilt right now as the weather turns colder, so I don't think it's wrong to give it to Goodwill or somewhere. I'm sure it would be greatly appreciated. I know what it's like to have a small house and not have much storage, so I understand that we need to give things away and only keep the things we cherish.

Way to go Andy with the BURGERS! It look amazing, Sandie. My son actually wanted to be a Chef early on. He's a good cook. Tell Andy to keep cooking. : )

And thank you for the encouraging words. Those are always nice to hear. So glad you are back blogging, Sandie.


Debby@Just Breathe said...

That is a very tough decision to make. I'm not sure I could do it. Yum, that burger looks delicious. I love the meme. Take care.

Rajani Rehana said...

Super blog

NanaDiana said...

I just went through a similar experience by giving back some gifts to those that had given them to me. I simply contacted them and told them that I was downsizing and returning beautiful gifts to the original owners because I didn't have the room to store extra things anymore. I went on to describe the gift and how much it had meant to me and asked if they would like to have it back. If not, I told them, I could gift it to one of my kids. Just about everyone wanted their gift back. I had about 10 things that I did this with. Good luck, Sandie. xo Diana

Lowcarb team member said...

That burger looks good.

With regard to the quilt, I liked what Terri D said.

Sending good wishes to you.

All the best Jan

Lee said...

Why not give it to one of your children...or another relative...keep it in the family...or perhaps, to a good friend, or to a charity that helps homeless people or others in dire need?

Theresa said...

I would find someone that needs a quilt instead of giving it back. Just pay it forward. That’s my opinion. That hamburger looks SO yummy. It made me drool a bit😉. Enjoy your day dear friend. Hugs.

Starry Dawn said...