For 2018

"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, April 23, 2010

Fun Friday

Nothing shows a man's character more than what he laughs at.
- Johann Wolfgang von Goethe


Actual writings from hospital charts:

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.


I think you will like this.

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says,' I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'

The driver says, 'Gee, officer, I had it on cruise control at 60; perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating. '

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly, dear -- you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls,
'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once !! ?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'Well dear you should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did or your speed would have been higher.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'Woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir.
That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see, officer, I had it on, but I took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket, the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP??'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'

(I love this part)

"Only when he's been drinking.!"

After the eighty-three year old lady finished her annual physical examination, the doctor said,

"You are in fine shape for your age, Mrs. Mallory, but tell me, do you still have intercourse?"

"Just a minute, I'll have to ask my husband," she said..

She stepped out into the crowded reception room and yelled out loud:

"Henry, do we still have intercourse?" And there was a hush .

You could hear a pin drop.

Henry answered impatiently, "If I told you once, Irma, I told you a hundred times...What we have is...

Blue Cross!"

Which way is the bus below traveling?
To the left or to the right?

Can't make up your mind?
Look carefully at the picture again.

Still don't know?

Preschoolers all over the United States were shown this picture and asked the same question. 90% of the preschooler's gave this answer.

"The bus is traveling to the left."

When asked, "Why do you think the bus is traveling to the left?"

They answered:

"Because you can't see the door to get on the bus."

How do you feel now ???
(from Angela)

Happy Birthday SHirley Temple - Wikipedia

Shirley Temple Black was the first person who said, on national television, 'I have breast cancer.' It wasn't Betty Ford, it was Shirley Temple, child star. One of the greatest stars of the world ever. And, she was so brave to say that, because first of all, people never said "cancer" and they never said "breast", not in public. She said it and she set the whole ball rolling. People don't remember that, but she did it.

On September 12, 2005, Screen Actors Guild president Melissa Gilbert announced that Black would receive the Guild's most prestigious honor, the Screen Actors Guild Life Achievement Award.

Gilbert said:

"I can think of no one more deserving of this year's SAG Life Achievement Award than Shirley Temple Black. Her contributions to the entertainment industry are without precedent; her contributions to the world are nothing short of inspirational. She has lived the most remarkable life, as the brilliant performer the world came to know when she was just a child, to the dedicated public servant who has served her country both at home and abroad for 30 years. In everything she has done and accomplished, Shirley Temple Black has demonstrated uncommon grace, talent and determination, not to mention compassion and courage. As a child, I was thrilled to dance and sing to her films and more recently as Guild president I have been proud to work alongside her, as her friend and colleague, in service to our union. She has been an indelible influence on my life. She was my idol when I was a girl and remains my idol today."

Gee I LOVED Shirley Temple


ClassyChassy said...

Funny "Funnies" today - needed a smile! Thanks, Chatty!

Cheri said...

Those funnies were just that. Made me laugh early on Friday morning. Thanks, Sandie.

Mollye said...

Oh Sandie, what a scream. I have got to snag the hospital charts for my RN daughter who works nights they'll get a kick out of them. And Shirley Temple, oh what a beautiful little charmer she was and such a regal lady too. I have a great big book of her paperdolls and I just adore it. I sure hope you have a happy happy weekend, it is supposed to be a hellacious weekend for weather here.

Sallie (FullTime-Life) said...

I always love your Fridays. this one had me laughing out loud. Thanks

Linda said...

Good post my friend! I love Shirley Temple and her movies are some of my all time favorites. Take Care!

Whosyergurl said...

I love Shirley Temple. What an adorable little pouty mouth.
Happy Friday!

Susan said...

Good chuckles, Sandie. The lady in the doctor's office was a hoot. I really chortled over that one! Good job! Sincerely, Susan

That corgi :) said...

loved the medical bloopers, Sandie, since I do medical transcription, I could relate to all of them, and the elderly lady at the doctor's office was so cute too! love your Friday funnies :)


^..^Corgidogmama said...

I think that Friday is our favorite day of the week here at Chatty's....always fun, always worth reading, and always....a chuckle to be had!

Sara's Sweet Surprise said...

Sandie~it was so nice to see you stroll in for a visit.
Well, this gave me the pick me up I needed.
I've been recouping cause... I just had minor (but excruciating) toe surgery. which I've no doubt a few notes were taken about my visit. The funny thing is the procedure was a breeze, but the extensive shots to numb my foot was horrible and took a long time to accomplish. At one point I told (screamed) to the Doc I needed a tree branch to grit my teeth into. My hubby said I handled it like a trooper, that's his way of saying my words of choice to scream out were quite entertaining for all, some to the effect of "HOLY MOLY BATMAN!" I was surprised at the fact that I was laughing hysterically in amazement over sooo much pain, ironically ALL that pain to feel no pain, lol.

"Laughter "IS" the best medicine!"
Sweet wishes,

Melanie said...

Oh my goodness, Sandie. I'm sitting here crying and holding my stomach because I'm laughing so hard!!
My husband liked them too!
Have a good weekend. :)

Terry said...

Howdy Sandie
Oh girl you'll never know how much I needed todays funnies !
Just what the Dr. ordered :)
You are sooooooooooo good !!!!!!!!!!
Thank you for the blessings .
Have a fantstic weekend filled with all the best .
Big Hugs from Texas
Happy Trails

Mimi said...

Oh those are the funniest things ever!!!Loved the speeding husband jokes, he should not yell at his wife!!!haha
loved the hospital charts too!!!
That will keep me trying to retell them all weekend!!!!
had a fun day today at the park and our little picnic!!!
It was beautiful out, only 70 degrees today!!!!
have a Blessed week end
hugs to you my dear friend,

ocmist said...

The funnies were great... brought big smiles, as usual!

My Mom LOVED Shirley Temple and so do I! I don't think there is a one of her movies that I wouldn't (or haven't) watched a BUNCH of times! I think I liked Heidi the very best, but then there was the one with her Dad as a wounded soldier and she was put in an awful place... Little Princess? I can't remember... And not only was she a great actor, but she was a GREAT Woman and did so very much for this country! Linda