My friend Sue . . . in loving memory . . .

Apparently there is nothing that cannot happen today. - Mark Twain

Life is fragile. It can change in one second. Don't take people you love for granted.

My blog will be sad today - so you may not want to read it, but for me it is necessary.

In 1997 my brother died, my husband took a job where he traveled every week, my son moved to Cincinnati, and my daughter went away to college. I had never really been a lone before in my life. Now I would love some time, but back then I was lonely.

I felt lost.

I decided to pray for a good friend.

I went to church that night and started talking to Sue. Now I had known Sue for many years at church - our kids grew up together, but we were never 'friends'. Well, we made plans (God Wink) to go out to dinner on Wednesday night the next week. And we have been going out most Wednesday nights since - for 13 years.

Our kids were in each others weddings. We helped make things for each others daughter's wedding.

When my mom was sick and I had Andy as a baby - she would drive with me downtown where my mom lived - I'd clean and cook and ready things for my mom and she would watch Andy there. We even went the morning of 9-11! We did this twice a week.

She was such a good friend. She was good at always writing little notes - to me yes - but to everyone.

We had a couple of fights, but we made up.

She gave too much to other people and really didn't take that good of care of herself.

Her husband left her about 25 years for another woman. She finished school to become a nurse to be able to take care of her two children.

She told me that she and the kids sometimes loved on 5 pounds of hamburger meat a week.

She paid entirely for her kids weddings and spent years paying the charges.

She was quite independent - lived in her own little home. She had three years left to pay on it. Had a dog Sadie she loved. Had finished off paying her car.

She and I would talk every week and give each other the update of the kids and what was happening in our lives. What we wanted out of life and where our lives were going.

She'd pray for me and I'd pray for her - and we were prayer warriors for our children. If the kids knew the secrets we shared. We could tell each other anything. And when Sue said she'd pray - she'd pray.

She had two grand kids - that were the apple of her eye. All she ever wanted was for them to know her as grandma and love her.

Her mom is 89 and she took her all around to her doctor visits and bank and the grocery store.

When my mom was in the hospital dying - she was right there for me. Every single day. Even though she worked nights as a nurse. When my mom died - she was there.

On my 50th birthday my daughter was having a surprise party for me and Sue was the one who took me out to get away from the house.

She couldn't wait to retire. Three more years.

She was a two time cancer survivor.

The last couple of Wednesdays she canceled on me - told me she didn't feel too good - stomach trouble.

I brought her some taffy last week from Florida. She sent me a thank you note and I got it on Monday of this week - of course telling me what a great friend I was - how good I listened - and understood her. I truly hope she felt that way. I did love her.

She was my grandson's Godmother - she never ever forgot his birthday and to send him a card every holiday with a sticker or candy or something.

Well I talked to her on Monday and she did not feel well. I told her she had to go to the doctor. She went to the doctor on Tuesday - guess they gave her a steroid shot to help her breathing. On Wednesday her daughter called to tell me she was gone. Just like that. It was instant.

I was in shock. I am guessing she had a pulmonary embolism. It was quick. I'm glad for her. I know she is in Heaven. Doesn't do much for me right now though.

I do so want to say goodbye, talk to her one more time, tell her what happened.

My heart has a hole in it now.

I feel bad she never took as good a care of herself as she did others. That she worked and was never able to retire.

Her children decided to cremate her. I never heard her say that was what she wanted. I begged them to let me see her one more time - you know to say goodbye - to see her. To make sure it is true. They said no. I am extremely hurt by that. Am going to have to work on forgiveness and understanding on that one.

Her visitation (?) is tonight and her funeral tomorrow.

Well sorry to dump this on you, but it is my way of paying tribute to her and releasing and acknowledging my pain.

And life will go on - and the pain will get less. Time is a great healer. I know all that too.

We can never live in the past as if it were our true home. And it is a good thing that God draws this veil over the past even without our asking. In so doing, He allows us to live today for tomorrow with just the few memories we need of what was.
- Karl Barth

So I am waiting for the veil. . .