A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.
'I'd like to be eight again', she replied, still looking in the mirror.
On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Coco Pops, and then took her to Adventure World theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.
Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.
Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M & M's.
What a fabulous adventure!
Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.
He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being eight again?
Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.
'I meant my dress size, you idoit!!!!'
The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.
Thank you Lois.
This is a quiz for people who know everything!
I found out in a hurry that I didn't. These are not trick questions.
They are straight questions with straight answers..
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Answers are at the bottom.
Thank you Lois.
They are straight questions with straight answers..
1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.
2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?
3 Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?
4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?
5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?
6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters ' dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.
7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least half of them?
8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.
9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'
Answers are at the bottom.
Thank you Lois.
"Have you ever seen a twenty dollar bill all crumpled up?" asked the wife.
"No," said her husband.
She gave him a sexy little smile, slowly reached into her cleavage and pulled out a crumpled twenty dollar bill.
"Have you ever seen a fifty all crumpled up?" she asked.
"Uh, no," he said.
She gave him another sexy little smile,seductively reached into her panties and pulled out a crumpled fifty dollar bill.
"Now," she said, "Have you ever seen 40,000 dollars all crumpled up?"
"No," he said, now really intrigued.
"Well go look in the garage..."
Thank you Sharon Paper is not dead - Linda and friends. This is a H O O T !
http://vimeo.com/61275290
Well y'all got the laughs now here's the lift -
Thank you David
Have a very blessed and wonderful Easter - God Bless and keep you - see you Monday.
Here are your answers. How did you do?
1. The one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends: Boxing.
2. North American landmark constantly moving backward: Niagara Falls .. The rim is worn down about two and a half feet each year because of the millions of gallons of water that rush over it every minute.
3. Only two vegetables that can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons: Asparagus and rhubarb.
4. The fruit with its seeds on the outside: Strawberry.
5. How did the pear get inside the brandy bottle? It grew inside the bottle. The bottles are placed over pear buds when they are small, and are wired in place on the tree. The bottle is left in place for the entire growing season. When the pears are ripe, they are snipped off at the stems.
6. Three English words beginning with dw: Dwarf, dwell and dwindle...
7. Fourteen punctuation marks in English grammar: Period, comma, colon, semicolon, dash, hyphen, apostrophe, question mark, exclamation point, quotation mark, brackets, parenthesis, braces, and ellipses.
8. The only vegetable or fruit never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form but fresh: Lettuce.
9. Six or more things you can wear on your feet beginning with 'S': Shoes, socks, sandals, sneakers, slippers, skis, skates, snowshoes, stockings, stilts.
79 comments:
Good Morning and Happy Friday, my friend! These were a hoot. Love every one of them!
A very blessed Good Friday to you. I never know everything and sure do learn something new every day. I'm sending the picture of the Jedi to one of my sons who is a starwars lover. Happy Easter weekend!
HA! IMMA laughing at the tread meal with the Choc. cake, Methinks that will work hahahaha
Great entry, love it.
Have a great Easter, Hope you find all the eggs!!!
(((HUGS)))
Jack & Sherry
The questions were a lot for my mind this early in the morning but I got a couple of them.
Have a wonderful Easter.
Those are some good funnies!
Wishing you a most wonderful Easter weekend!
xo Catherine
LoL... can't show my husband how to walk around the block. He hates walking unless he is hunting.. then it is all good for him.
Have a GREAT weekend.
ha. ha!!! ( :
i can't figure out which one i like best. you always have me laughing.
Happy Easter!
LOVED the trivia tidbits. You should do another one of those in the future. I can't believe that Niagra Falls moves back two and a half feet each year - that's very rapid as far as erosion is concerned.
Good ones, thanks.
One of my daughters-in-law sent me that "Paper Is Not Dear" video and I posted it toooooo! Love it. On all sorts of levels. -grin-
Have a Happy Easter!
"Auntie"
Ooops that should have read "Paper Is Not Dead" video, of course. ;-)
Happy Good Friday Morning to you my friend :) A lot of funny stuff for us today...loved the treadmill haha too funny. Happy Easter!!
Another great post that we're reading out loud and having some laughs! Thanks for the fun! Happy weekend! Sweet hugs!
What fun! And I hope you and yours have a wonderful, wonderful Easter!
Love the crumpled money joke!
I just took that quiz last week so I would have aced it today. Wait, I shouldn't have told you that...I should have just said that I got them all correct today!
I hope you and your family have a wonderful weekend and a blessed Easter.
Well that was fun. All of it. I want to be a size 8 too. Not be 8! That was so cute.
Have a terrific day honey. Happy Easter to you and yours too. Big hugs from sunny California. ☺
I love the exercise block, sending it to a friend! Happy Easter Weekend Sandie-enjoy:@)
I like the first one- just like a man! HA HA Have a blessed Easter weekend Sandie!
the $40k crumpled was cute. :)
These are all great! I love the exercise around the block. Thanks for the shout outs! I hope you and your family have a Happy Easter! Enjoy!
Thanks for the chuckles. Have a blessed Easter!
Another fun post! Out of all the questions I'm sad to admit I only guessed right on the strawberry. Hope you have a blessed Easter!
I loved reading the answers!! Of course I did not know any of them. I also really like the pole dancing cartoon, TOO funny!
Loved them all. BUt my favorite was walking around the block. So funny.
The size eight story was great!
Happy Easter!
LOL on the crumpled money, love that one!!!
Happy Good Friday. :)
I absolutely LOVE this post, Chatty... from start to finish!! It made me smile... BIG! *lol*
Have a wonderful day, weekend & Easter too, my friend.
--Andrea
XOXOXO
Always a reason to smile on Fridays...Love the tread mill...and as for the questions...I flunked...LOL I pray the Lord Blesses you on this most important weekend in all of human history.Happy Easter \0/
Miss Chatty...you did it again. I love them all. But the crumpled money might work in this house! Every Friday...I giggle, I laugh and sometimes so hard, I scare the cat! The one about the "paper" is my absolute favorite!!!
I pray you and your whole family have a relaxing and peaceful Easter. And let's not forget what Easter is all about.
Love ya,
Susannah
I got all of the things you put on your feet except stilts.. Oh Well. Guess I ain't so smart afterall.. ha
I did know that about Niagara.
Love the Size 8 story... Too Cute...
Love the walking around the block one too...
And the GARAGE story is great too... Our garage is a MESS.
Hugs,
Betsy
Sandie…
Loved the ‘When I was 8 story’! How funny and how true!
Agree also about the CA…Chocoholics Anonymous…I adore Chocolate!
Quiz…
#4 = Strawberries
That is the only one I dare to guess and looks like I got it right!
Have a BLESSED Easter!!!
Love to you!
I love the questions that really get me thinking. I only knew the lettuce, strawberry, part of the feet list. Hubby knew about Niagara Falls and the pear in the bottle. I found the pear to be so cool!
Not giving up chocolate here! :)
Happy Easter to you and yours Sandie!
Hugs,
Marie
I want the block and the treadmill with cake... Happy Easter, and have a wonderful week end with your family
This was a really fun post!
www.modernworld4.blogspot.com
Love fun Fridays !!!!!
Ha! That was a good one, Sandie. Got a chuckle out of several.
Definitely realized how little I know when I took the quiz. (Duh.)
Hope you have a good day. Susan
Those were all so funny! Really made me smile today. Sending Easter blessings to you and all the family.
good ones!! Happy Good Friday!
Happy Easter to you and have to say I am not as smart as I would like to be, as I only got a few answers right.
fun post! I actually got quite a few of the quiz questions right. Boy, I must be sharp today!
Cute jokes today, Sandy. I like the first the best even if I had heard it. The crumpled car was new to me, I'd never heard it before.
I wish we could grow rhubarb here in our part of Texas. My sister brings some or we rustle some when we got up to Iowa to visit her. They do sell it in the grocery stores but it just isn't the same as when you pick it yourself.
Rhubarb pie is my favorite.
..
Happy Easter, Sandie (sorry I spelled it wrong two minutes ago).
To you and your family.
..
Fun post! I'd love to be a size 8 again but I would also enjoy that day she had with her husband. I'm thinking of picking a small local amazement park for Mother's Day this year! I can't imagine them having the bottle over the pear while growing. That's different. Hope your having a very GOOD FRIDAY....
I love these! Especially the first one about the husband and his wife's BD!
I only got one answer right......strawberry. Oh, I did get some of the punctuation marks.
Love that story... 8 again:) I didn't know the answers, so thanks for the answers! Great to know for trivia! have a blessed Easter dear friend, HUGS!
you always make me smile
You have some good ones here. At least with those questions I was able to get some of the answers right
Thanks for all the Fun and Happy Easter friend!!
hughugs
Thanks for the great post! Got some of the answers but not all. Loved the birthday story! Happy Easter!
I want to be 8 again, too.
Loved that one!!
And...the crumpled money one.
Great!!!
Your blog made me smile today, Sandi. But then, it always makes me smile. That's a wonderful reason to visit a friend, isn't it? To share a smile. Thank you....
Love,
Jackie
Lol. Those were all great. Happy Easter
Lots of funnies today! Love the size 8 not age 8...cute! Enjoy our Easter weekend!
hugs, Linda
You know-my favorite-pole dancing!!
Still smiling!
Happy, Happy Easter!!
Sweet Blessings, My Friend!
Jemma
You had my mind going with the questions. I flunked them all! :)
Maybe if she said "I'd like to be an eight again" he would have understood his wife better. I put that down to her bad English, rather than his lack of perception! :D ;p ;)
Have a great Easter!!
Happy Easter! So thankful for what the Lord has done! Shana
I want that exercise block:) It's just my style.
Cracking me up--- so many things- catching up on your crazy blog! Love and hugs for Easter.
Thanks for the laughs!
In the quiz, the only ones I got were five and six!
Lots of laughs as usual chatty.... I am still laughing. Have a great Easter Weekend.
Boy, that quiz stumped me good!
Dropping by to leave you a love note and to say that I hope you have a very, VERY Happy Easter!
Love you...
XO,
Sheila
Good post I got some of the question right, happy easter to you and yours.
Merle.....
Wishing you a very Happy Easter!!
Thanks for all the laughs.
I want that block! Great post and I loved the quiz. I only got a few right but it was fun.
I did so-so on the quiz.
Have a wonderful Easter!
Happy Easter sweetie. May your day be full of joys in your celebration.
TTFN ~
Hugs,
Marydon
As always, you made me laugh, especially Yoda Bunny! Hugs and wishes for a very happy Easter!
Thank you for the encouraging words! I am so fed up with this whole drama!!
I pray you and your beautiful crew have a lovely Easter!!
always so much fun on your bloggy.
you always share so much- you give so much- and we are thankful for you.
love
tweedles
happy easter!!
xo
Just popping in this morning Sandie, to wish you and your loved ones a blessed, happy Easter.
A chuckle on Easter Sunday! Thanks, my silly friend!
Wishing you a blessed Easter Sunday! May your day be full of Resurrection JOY!
"He is not here, for He has risen, just as He said." (Matthew 28:6)
He is Risen! He is Risen indeed!
Celebrating with you the promise of eternal life - thanks the One who is the Way, the Truth, and the Life!
GOD BLESS!
I quit taking quizzes (and playing Trivial Pursuit) because I don't like knowing how ignorant I am!
I don't kmow about everyone else, buy my Ole Boy says "huh?" to just about everything I say. Sometimes I won't repeat what I've said, and he'll answer me. GRRRrrr lol
Happy Easter Sandie!
The woman on the treadmill chasing the cake... LOL! I hope you had a happy Easter, Sandie!!! :)
Hee hee. Love the pole dance cartoon. :)
I haven't taken the quiz yet so I had to scroll quickly past the answers. Can't wait to do that. I love quizzes.
Loved the fun Friday contributions as usual, and the stripper pole picture at the end just made me laugh right out loud.
I hope that you had a Happy Easter.
Yes we can love dogs and cats.
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