Fun Friday With A little Help With My Friends and Feline Friday

Please Join Sandee on Feline Friday at Comedy Plus

"Am I fast enough to get past him?"

I rear-ended a car this morning...the start of a REALLY bad day!

The driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!!
He looked up at me and said 'I am NOT Happy!'
So I said, 'Well, which one ARE you then?'

That's how the fight started.

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My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.

She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started........

After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security.  The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's License to verify my age.  I looked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home.  I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to go home and come back later.

The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'.

So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair.

She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me', and she processed my Social Security application.

When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the Social Security office.

She said, 'You should have dropped your pants.  You might have gotten disability too.'

And then the fight started...

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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary.  She said, "I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconds."

I bought her a bathroom scale.

And then the fight started......
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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her, "Do you know him?"

"Yes", she sighed, "He's my old boyfriend. I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" I said, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

And then the fight started...

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I took my wife to a restaurant.

The waiter, for some reason, took my order first.

"I'll have the rump steak, rare, please."

He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?"

"Nah, she can order for herself."

And that's when the fight started.....

Thank you Sharon!



More animals in Mexico!

This is so cute - it's a baby elephant getting it's first mud bath - kind of looks like fun.  Hey would you do a mud bath?  I think I would if someone would do it with me!

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Ann from The Boston Lady

THE LAUGH:

THE LIFT:

“For it is in giving that we receive.”

(Saint Francis of Assisi)