"Life is lived forward, but understood backward. It is not until we are down the road and we stand on the mountain looking back through the valley that we can appreciate the terrain God has allowed us to scale.” Jill Savage

Friday, May 31, 2013

Fun Friday with a little help from my friends.



She walked up and tied her old mule to the hitch rail. As she stood there, brushing some of the dust from her face and clothes, a young gunslinger stepped out of the saloon with a gun in one hand and a bottle of whiskey in the other.

The young gunslinger looked at the old woman and laughed, saying, "Hey Old WOMAN, have you ever danced?"

The old woman looked up at the gun slinger and said, “No, I never did dance,…never really wanted to.”

A crowd had gathered as the gun slinger grinned and said,"Well, you old bag, you’re gonna dance now,” and started shooting at the woman’s feet.

The old woman prospector – not wanting to get her toe blown off – started hopping around. Everybody was laughing. When his last bullet had been fired, the young gunslinger, still laughing, holstered, his gun and turned around to go back into the saloon.

The old woman turned to her pack mule, pulled out a double-barreled shotgun, and cocked both hammers. The loud clicks carried clearly through the desert air. The crowd stopped laughing immediately.

The young gunslinger heard the sounds too, and he turned around very slowly. The silence was almost deafening. The crowd watched as the young gunman stared at the old woman and the large gaping holes of those twin barrels.

The barrels of the shotgun never wavered in the old woman’s hands, as she quietly said, “Son, have you ever kissed a mule’s butt? The gunslinger swallowed hard and said, “No Mam…but…I’ve always wanted to.”


1 - Never be arrogant.

2 - Don't waste ammunition.

3 - Whiskey makes you think you're smarter than you are.

4 - Always, always make sure you know who has the power.

5 - Don't mess with old women; they didn't get old by being stupid.

Thanks Jerry at Asthecrackerheadcrumbles


Grandma's boyfriend

A 5-year-old boy went to visit his grandmother one day.

Playing with his toys in her bedroom while grandma was dusting, he looked up and said,

'Grandma, how come you don't have a boyfriend now that Grandpa went to heaven?'

Grandma replied, 'Honey, my TV is my boyfriend.

I can sit in my bedroom and watch it all day long.

The religious programs make me feel good and the comedies make me laugh

... I'm happy with my TV as my boyfriend.'

Grandma turned on the TV, and the reception was terrible.

She started adjusting the knobs, trying to get the picture in focus.

Frustrated, she started hitting the backside of the TV hoping to fix the problem.

The little boy heard the doorbell ring, so he hurried to open the door and there stood Grandma's minister.

The minister said, 'Hello son, is your Grandma home?'

The little boy replied, 'Yeah, she's in the bedroom bangin' her boyfriend.'

The minister fainted.
Thank you Kim.

We should live to 94, know who we are, and (energetically) dance for 2 minutes
Mathilda Klein - age 94

Thank you Monica

Wouldn't this be fun - I would love to be the one at the end........flying.....

Yawning and stretching.

Thanks Sharon for all the cute pics.



I am having a garage sale today and tomorrow.  I've been getting it ready all week - so you know the drill - I'm late, but I will be there!

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Sharon said...

Enjoyed this one today. Especially the gunslinger story. However, I was crying at the very sad photo of the dog on the grave - oh, that is so touching!

Good luck on the garage sale. May you be blessed with actual buyers, and not just "lookie-loos."


The Quintessential Magpie said...

Hey, Sandie... loved the gunslinger and the lady dancing. :-)

Good luck with your garage sale. We have been out of town and are traveling again today. Will be back in St. Augustine sans computer access, but will try to get to the library to blog. Have missed you.



Jill said...

Love the gunslinger and I adore Mathilda!

Good luck with your sale. Wish I could swing by. :)

Kat said...

Hi Sandie. I love Mathilda! Good luck with your garage sale.

Cheri said...

Oh...where to begin with this...Mathilda does not need a walker, she is awesome! The kid flying...would be fun until you stopped and the knees...oh the knees. I LOVED the gunslinger story. The TV boyfriend...well what can I say...out of the mouths of babes. LOL The picture of the tat is exactly "why" I would never get one. Now to finish...the pup on the grave was sad...I have seen this before and it breaks my heart every time. They are so loyal, loving and giving of everything they have. Good ones this Friday. Good luck with your garage sale, tell me how you did.

Optimistic Existentialist said...

LOL that tattoo illustration made me laugh. I loved the orange kittens picture :)

Sandra said...

loved all the sweet pics the bottom, and i thought she was going to shoot he gunslinger, she did something even better...

BECKY said...

Hey Chatty! Love the pics and jokes, as always! Have a wonderful weekend!

Beth @ E. lizard Breath Speaks said...

i always wonder about tats when you get older ... will they look ok or not?? scary!!

love the take you to work joke. ha. ha!! i can see the hubby saying something silly like that. ha. ha!!

you always find the greatest jokes to share. ( :

Changes in the wind said...

Saved the picture of the eagle tattoo for my Grand daughter and am going to title it "in case you are tempted"

andy said...

Thanks for another fun Friday !!!! Have a wonderful weekend

mail4rosey said...

LOL at the kiddos on the riding car. :)

Happy garage saling! :)

Jerry E Beuterbaugh said...

Thank you for another very honorable mention!

Cranberry Morning said...

Oh, that dog on the grave photo! So touching!

Hope you have a great weekend, Sandie.

Sandee said...

I love to laugh too and you should never mess with old people. Men or women.

The lift is so true. They grieve just like we do. Bless their hearts.

Have a terrific garage sale honey and make lots of money. Big hugs. ☺

Barb said...

What a delightful post, hon. I've missed being able to comment, miss being able to post myself. Hopefully it won't be much longer. Still waiting for my hands to improve. Still typing with one painful finger. Love and hugs too.

Munir said...

Wow what a Grandma !
I love those pics. specially the kittens. Thanks for sharing a lovely post. Have a great weekend.

Pat MacKenzie said...

Lovely! I love the potted babies and the orange cats.

It must have been an old television that grandma called her boyfriend. These days people don't know what it is to twiddle with knobs to improve reception or to hit the back of the tv too. Ahhh - the good old days!

Loved the story of the feisty old lady with the double barrel shotgun too. The moral? Don't mess with old ladies. Love it.

TexWisGirl said...

good luck with the sale!

liked the father who didn't bring the kid home. :)

Cathy said...

Okay. These cracked me up today. I printed out the tattoo one, because my girls have one (at least one). Loved the old mule woman and Mathilda's made me smile. Thank you for the laughs and smiles today.

Gail Dixon (La.Belle) said...

Ah hahahaha!! The minister joke and the gunslinger story has me doubled over. The tattooed butts cartoon was also a knee-slapper. Thanks, Cathy!

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Sandie .. I've no idea where you get all of these .. they are just such fun .. and I do love the Minister!

Let alone your old lady story .. we have wisdom!!

Cheers Hilary

Ginny said...

My favorites today are that amazing wagon shot and the baby squirrels. But the kids in the wagon, stupendous, it kind of represents all of childhood! Let me know how much is left over and how much money you made.

Ginny said...

Put on sunblock and wear a floppy hat. Sit when you can and sip! Also going to be 90 here today and I am off to the strawberry patch with Ella...

Ms. A said...

The lessons... so true!!!

Elizabeth said...

Matilda is AWESOME! Thanks for including that.
Love the C.S.Lewis quote.


Good luck with your garage sale. LOVED the babies in buckets.

Donna said...

Love the rabbit!Hahaa
Happy weekend! Don't work too hard at that garage sale!

Cheryl @ TFD said...

Funny stuff! Good luck with the garage sale. Have a great weekend!

Granny Annie said...

"In the bedroom banging the boyfriend" lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Betsy Adams said...

Good Luck with your garage sale... Lots of work when doing one of them. Hope you do well.

My favorite thing today was the 94 yr. old dancer.. Awesome....

BUT--I loved the 'Bangin' the TV' one also.


Beth said...

n especially good post today Sandie!

Terri said...

Thanks for the laughs Sandie! Good luck with the sale.

Grandma Bonnie said...

Good laughs today.
I hope I can still dance like that at 94. My husband and I took couples dance lessons a few years ago. There were all these young 20yr old couples. We were the oldest couple except for the dance instructor and his wife they were in their eighties.
Hope garage sale goes well.

barbara l. hale said...

Good advice from the experience with the gunslinger! Love the boyfriend story, too. Hope you have good weather and sell lots of stuff!!!

Saimi said...

HA!!! Love the gunslinger story!!! Great post today and have fun with your garage sale - Im not one to do a garage sale I'd rather give it all to Goodwill and be done with it - but I do enjoy interacting with people! I love how they will barter for a less price when it's as low as it can go - by that point I'm like, 'just take it!"

One time our church was doing a huge garage sale for two families that had terminally ill children - One lady was really working me over for a lower price and finally I said - it's a fund raiser!

She laughed realizing she was being a little over the top and bought the item.

Blondee said...

Oh, the babies in the buckets are just adorable!

And the ladies with the tattoos...how TRUE that will be for so many! lol

Have a great weekend!

Jemma said...

Hi Sandie-
:);)You have done it again!
Love Old women, gunslinger story was delightful-she was one smart gal! Oh and the T.V. I wasn't prepared for the ending tale of that story. So many life lessons and inspirations with you!
Have a awesome garage sale!
Happy Hugs-

Catherine said...

Dear Sandie, I loved these. I especially loved Mathilda's Dance!! That was wonderful and inspiring. Blessings dear and hugs. Catherine xoxo

Ann said...

I'm still laughing over grandma's boyfriend.
Good luck with the garage sale. I should have one but that's just so much work

Renae of Simple Sequins said...

Oh Sandie! This post was great fun!!!! I laughed a huge cackle at the first cartoon of the bare butts!!!!!!! hahahhahahhahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!

Miss Matilda Klien is agile and that was not an easy dance. OMyGosh! That was fabulous! I loved the set up of the walker etc as the intro. Very impresssssed!

I sure hope your garage sale goes well. (hug)

Dee said...

Each of your photo choices today were extra good one's. I hope your garage sale goes well and that you meet a lot of nice people with lot's of money in their pocket. :)

jack69 said...

Great read. Like the Gunslinger and lady prospector and the noted rules that followed. Great advice!
Love Matilda.
Thanks for the entertainment.
(Good luck)

Jim said...

Sandie, this is a nice "Old Folk" post today. It was nice to see the young man get what was coming to him.

And Sharon's animals are the BEST!!!

Sue said...

that video of that women dancing was unbelievable...Not only would I love to be able to dance like that but I would kill to be able to wear shoes with heals like that....I'm stuck wearing flats the rest of my life.....she's amazing!!! and loved the fringe dress she had on.

Susan said...

That was a great post, Sandie. Oh man, I could never dance like Mahtilda! What a gal.

The funny about the lady banging her boyfriend was hilarious.

Hope your taggie went fabulously! Susan

Jo-Anne Meadows said...

Thank you for making me laugh

Merlesworld said...

That pretty good no you should never mess with old people, young people you can fool most of the time, middle aged some of the time but old people never.

Eva Ason said...

Good morning my friend, the highlight of the week reading blogs on Saturday morning. I love the pictures, so funny :). Hope you've had a good week and get some time to relax in the weekend. Hugs x

Nonnie said...

Hope the garage sale goes well. Would be fun to drop by and see all the stuff you have for sale. Rest up. The tattoos were funny. Like all the smiles today.

Debbie said...

Enjoyed every little bit of this!
Thanks for the laughs! Enjoy your day!

Nikki (Sarah) said...

I love that last pic although it makes me a bit sad. And that first joke...old woman with gun....cute. Love your new header...the soft greens and pics...awesome.
Hugs Chatty. Wishing you a great day

Linda @ A La Carte said...

Love the gunslinger story! Don't fool with old women!! Hope your yard sale is a success.


Tree Hugger - Suzan said...

You always make ME laugh Sandie!! Makes me wonder about all those girls (my daughter included) with tattoos and how she will look 30 years from now when the skin is sagging!! And then you made me cry with the pooch on the grave! How do they know?

Janette Dolores said...

Hi, Sandie:

I'm so glad I watched the Mathilda video. I can't believe Mathilda can dance the way she does at her age! She's amazing. Thanks for the smile today.

Be well.

Denise said...

Thanks so much, really needed the laughs my friend.

Dolores said...

Sure glad I don't have a tattoo .... it would be changing as we speak.

Your pictures and stories always lift my spirits and make my day, thank you!

Zoe Byrd said...

I love Matilda. Sounds like the sale went well, yes?

Karen Lange said...

Stopping by to say hello! Thanks for making me smile. :) Have a great week!

Susan J. Reinhardt said...

Hi Chatty -

I love going to yard sales but don't like having them myself. Yesterday, I picked up a brand new computer monitor from my neighbor for $20.

Susan :)

Betsy said...

Scary the first photo. The lady on the right, I'm asking myself "does my butt look like that"? Not gonna look in the mirror to find out.
Love your post - very funny

Lynn said...

Love those babies in the buckets!

Jazzi said...

Loved the post today!! Good luck with your garage sale, I am going through stuff to get ready for one.


Betty Manousos said...

laughter is the best medicine!
my fave...those adorable babies in the buckets!