Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you, too. Don't laugh.... It is all true!
Perks of reaching 50 or being over 60 and heading towards 70!
1.Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
2. In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
3. No one expects you to run -- anywhere.
4. People call at 9 PM and ask, 'Did I wake you?'
5.People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
6. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
7.Things you buy now won't wear out.
8. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
9. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10.You get into heated arguments about pension plans.
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.
12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13.You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to a manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
ONE MORE THING:
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill, and a laxative on the same night!
A couple lived near the ocean and used to walk the beach a lot. One summer they noticed a girl who was at the beach almost every day. She wasn't unusual, nor was the travel bag she carried, except for one thing; she would approach people who were sitting on the beach, glance around and then speak to them.
Generally, the people would respond negatively and she would wander off. But occasionally someone would nod and there would be a quick exchange of money and something that she carried in her bag.
The couple assumed that she was selling drugs and debated calling the cops, but since they didn't know
for sure, they decided to just continue watching her.
After a couple of weeks the wife said, 'Honey, have you ever noticed that she only goes up to people with boom boxes and other electronic devices?' He hadn't and said so.
Then she said, 'Tomorrow I want you to get a towel and our big radio and go lie out on the beach. Then we can find out what she's really doing.'
Well, the plan went off without a hitch and the wife was almost hopping up and down with anticipation when she saw the girl talk to her husband and then leave.. The man then walked up the beach and met his wife at the road.
'Well, is she selling drugs?' she asked excitedly. 'No, she's not,' he said, enjoying this probably more
than he should have.
'Well, what is it then? What does she do ?' his wife fairly shrieked.
The man grinned and said, 'She's a battery salesperson.'
'Batteries?' cried the wife.
'Yes!' he replied.
PLEASE SCROLL DOWN
OOOOH! You're gonna dislike me for this - but it will make your day!
'She Sells C Cells by the Seashore!' And People Ask Me Why I Like Retirement!
Do you sit unnoticed on the sidelines while others are chosen?
Try the latest scarf fashion and you too will be the center of attention..................
We don't stop laughing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop laughing.
Lastly Happy Birthday to John Lennon - a musical genius - yet not smart enough to stay away from drugs.