Big and Rich-Lost In This Moment With You

Okay - so it's not Godzilla Bride -it's Bridezilla my girlfriend informed me (it's actually quite normal too she said - in fact when she stopped by she brought my daughter a book - a funny book about just that thing - see God just sends us answers out of the blue when you most need them) . . . so yes, I'm living with Bridezilla these days - and I love her dearly, but she is driving me nuts just a little bit. I'm breathing so much - I'm probably going to hyper-ventilate (Lol) .

So thoughts of weddings and love are being chiseled into my mind these days. I maybe Blogging to record and vent for awhile.

I wish I could chisel into her mind that the wedding is really just an one big event in her life right now, the important thing is the life together afterwards. I know this from experience and from observing life.

My daughter called me from the mall last night, crying that her fiance was having three best men - one of them - my grandson -two were going to be his brothers and the fourth man standing up is her brother - not a best man. "No one's ever heard of three best men, that's dumb, I'm upset and mad with him, I'm . . . . .

I listened and then I said to her, "Honey, it's only a wedding". But he .... "It'll be okay, it's only a wedding - it's a thing."

I knew it wasn't a life crisis and that in the long run, in the future, that the wedding would not be the important issue for the long haul. I had to be careful how I told her because of course the wedding is key to her now and her ears are closed. So is love blind or is being in love blind?

I suggested she call him and tell him whatever he wanted was okay. I had hoped this wedding would be a stress event (okay, I'm a dreamer) where everyone could be themselves and have fun - experience love (the important thing) would be brought out.

I'm from another planet I guess. Weddings, earthly things, big houses, nice cars - do nothing for me.

I'm reading a book called "The Bridge Across Forever" by Richard Bach. I'm not all the way through it yet - (and I am wondering about where the book will take me for an ending . . .), but
one of the quotes I've found that I like is this: "The opposite of loneliness, is not togetherness. It is intimacy." That really hit me. What is this thing called intimacy anyway? Is it something that could be real or is it a thing that is just in fiction books?

I've kind of been looking for something in my life that seems to be missing. I wonder if it's intimacy? I know that intimacy is not having people around - I have some one here almost 24/7 and even that being true at times I still feel lonely. I don't know if it's a physical place or a mental place. What is intimacy? Does it exist or it is just a dream?

The following song by Big and Rich - Lost in the Moment - seems to me to be about intimacy (yes I know it's just a song). To me the singers describe how all the 'senses' were going off at one time and fixed on one person - for one moment of time - the present, the now - no one else mattered. Being in the now is all about using your senses. Letting the rest of the world go on. Not thinking about anything else for the moment. Not worrying about the little things - just living. (Am I a dreamer or what?)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdgvQBHtiqM&feature=email#

If I were my daughter (and I only know this because I'm a wiser now 55 year old person), I'd worry less about the wedding and think more about how to be intimate with my mate. First of all , intimacy I think, is something that either you feel or don't feel with a certain person. You could not fake that feeling. So if you want to get married or be with a person - is that intimacy? So in my humble opinion, if you feel intimate you both would want to give of yourselves freely and not worry about the little things. If one person wants intimacy and the other one doesn't - that to me is a huge problem and red flag right from the start.

I don't think you'd both have to like the same things necessarily or see things the same way, in fact, part of intimacy is letting go and letting the other person live and do the things they need to do, but keeping them close enough to 'know' them. It's like when you're with someone, be with them passionately, and when you are doing other things, do them with passion. The trick I think is keeping a balance. When the balance sways - it's tough to put it back in balance - and then sometimes it's so out of whack that it just can't come back - then it's too late...

I think when life gets in the way, you have kids, money problems, schedules, work, etc you tend to let go of the intimacy between the couple. You would have to be wise at 25-30 to know this and work like heck to keep the intimacy continue - or the flame will die. You have to respect each other and talk nice. Be patient and kind - like in I Corinthians 13.

How many husbands and wives watch TV together and the rote control is usually in the man's control and we even watch other shows during the commercials? You can't even use the 5 minutes to try to talk. Or what about a work-a-holic? My dad was one. He worked 7 days a week about 16 hours a day - he loved it - or he didn't love his home.... there was no intimacy between my parents at all.

I'm just saying - if you can only be together for five minutes a day - then be together - make the 5 minutes count! That's what's important. It's not the wedding that will keep you warm in the years to come - it's the intimacy and I don't really know that I mean the sexual part of marriage. There is something much deeper. Intimacy is a verb - using all the five senses - it's not only a noun to me.

Any thoughts - am I crazy - am I just a dreamer - or am I right?

I wonder what my daughter will think when she's 55?

Dreaming,
Chatty

Inspirational People Week - Christina Applegate

Okay - something that always - always - always makes me feel better - is to look at others. Some people have it pretty bad - yet they take it in stride. They are heroes and they give me such inspiration. (I also stop feeling sorry for myself - it gives me strength).

Hopefully this week we can take a look at some inspirational people and see if we can gain anything from their strength. I think that is one reason we are here on earth - to help others.

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some pursue happiness, others create it.-Anonymous

From an interview of TV GUIDE- Christina Applegate

"It's good to be back," she said in her recent interview with TV Guide. "I get tired quickly. But it's nice to have a focus for a minute outside of that."

That of course, is her recovery from breast cancer. The 36 year old actress was diagnosis in late March and ultimately underwent a double mastectomy in July. Applegate is cancer-free and, slowly but surely, healing both physical and emotionally from an ordeal that she admirably sugarcoats.

"Yes, it's hard. It sucks. But I'm not a victim."

Applegate is a profoundly different woman form the one who sat down with TV Guido last year. Then she lived and breathed work, almost to the exclusion of everything else.

All that shifted early last spring . "I started looking for a beach house the day I found out I had this little disease." "You just kind of go what am I waiting for for to get the things that you want and the things you dream of."

She bought a peaceful, quiet, beautiful place where she spent three weeks recuperating post surgery surrounded by friends and family, including her own mother, actress Nancy Priddy, who had also bravely battled-and beat - the disease. "I allowed myself to fall into their care, which is very hard for me personally because that is not my personality.

I have an extremely hard time asking others for help - for attention - for anything. It goes against what I learned from childhood - when someone gives you something - there's a price attached to it. Therefore, I tend to be pretty self reliant - which isn't a bad thing, but it's not a great thing either, some times. It seems I can give to others forever, but asking for something and taking from someone is something I have to work on.

I've learned without replenishing myself - it's a good way to burn out. We have to learn to take some time for ourselves and we may have to ask others for what we need. I've also learned that while we may get up the courage to ask for what we need, we risk the answer to be no -we will survive a no - it doesn't mean it's a personal rejection - there may be others reasons for a no. We have to say yes to ourselves and go on alone. No one said it was easy.

But, we are survivors.
Love,
Chatty

Living Life In Color-Don't Worry - Be Happy

Lesson # 7 DON'T WORRY - BE HAPPY

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. -Elizabeth Bibesco

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjnvSQuv-H4&feature=email
Love,

Chatty

Living Life In Color . . .Make Sure Our Own WIndows Are Clean

HOW DO WE LIVE LIFE IN COLOR - MAYBE EVEN TECHNICOLOR?

Lesson # 1


A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young
woman saw her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly.Perhaps she needs better laundry soap"

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash out to dry,the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

Husband: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

* * *

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

LESSON #1 - MAKE SURE OUR OWN WINDOWS ARE CLEAN, BEFORE WE LOOK AT OTHERS LAUNDRY.

Love,
Chatty

Find Joy In the Journey

What You Need To Know

Nobody ever demanded you unravel every mystery of the cosmos, or make sense of all you learn.

There are things we will come to understand and things we will never fathom in our lifetimes—as well as things that are just beyond the gray matter within the human skull.

As humans, we are indignant about such limitations, as though the unknown has no right to stay unknown.

As though reality is defined by our ability to know it.

It may be hard to concede, but none of us is God. Our job description is not to know all things.

Our job is only to pick up those truths we will each need for our mission while we are here.

Love,
Chatty

All you need is deep within you waiting to unfold and reveal itself. All you have to do is be still and take time to seek for what is within, and you will surely find it.

-Eileen Caddy

What is a grown up?

What is a grown up?
(Taken from AARP’s magazine)
I thought it was a good article to share -

Fifty years is an arbitrary as any other measurement of time. Many regard this birthday as a milestone. Fifty used to mean you were old. Now it is middle-aged, even young.

Human maturity isn’t predictable like the ripening of a piece of fruit. Growing up is a PROJECT (JOB) one embarks on or FAILS to embark on, the success of which can be OBSERVED at practically any age.

A thoughtful person of 25 may be considered wise beyond his years. An 85-year-old may be self-absorbed, childish.

Real wisdom is more than accumulated knowledge.

How do you know when you are a grown up? You know when you are a grown-up when:

You know there are many things more important than yourself.
You’re attentive to the footprint you will have left in the world.
You forgive the carelessness of the young, and regret the thoughtlessness of your own youth
You finally realize that you have no one to complain too (and I don’t mean you don’t have God – it’s different)

GROWING UP IS A CHOICE.

The journey begins with the simplest of steps:

Identify your values, than ACTING accordingly. This means jettisoning the excuses that have previously blocked your path (I’m too tired, “I don’t have the time,” etc.) And then the tricky part: doing all this while retaining your sense of humor.

Few accomplish these goals. (Total successes would mean you are a Saint).

The most important thing is to point yourself in the right direction and start marching. (DO, TRY, ACT)

The alternative is to have a life that has a beginning, a middle, and an end – that’s all.
****************************************

I sometimes like to share what my friends think because to tell you the truth - sometimes I am in amazement at them - they can say things so much better than I do. Explain things better. Or I find out why we are friends - because we think a like!

I was writing to one of my friends this weekend and we got on the topic of 'how we have changed' - how we are now vs how we were in our youth - she had delightful insights:

"Uhmmm.....how have I changed? I really don't think about it....until a dear friend asks.

I believe I value the gift of time more than ever before. I no longer take it for granted. I recognize I am not immortal.

I value my friendships more than ever before. I always have and I always will, but now I don't put things off as much. I try to make the most of every day and as you know "fill em up" because I do not know what tomorrow holds.

I am in some ways less patient, but wanting to be more patient....story of my life....just because we don't have time to waste. I'm more of a "bottom liner" when I speak, but I'd like to think when it comes to listening I am doing a little better. Listening is sooooo important.

When it comes to my faith, it is strong, but I ask more questions than ever before. I have become more practical than ever before and finally recognize it. I recognize what is really important and try not to get trapped in the petty. I have to sometimes just put my emotional raincoat on and let hurtful words, etc. just roll off it.

I'm more relaxed about inviting folks and friends in for meals. It's about the people, not the stuff.

I've mellowed...not about everything, but am definitely moving in that direction. That is a freeing feeling. Life is again too short to major in the minors as they say. I try to put things into perspective.

Counting my blessings is essential..... What is MOST important is my family and my friends and I continue to recognize that and hold them all dear to my heart. God is in control and has everything all lined up. "

Isn't she a wonderful and wise woman?

Love,
Chatty

"I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery