5 Minutes to Happy . . .

And my last list . . .

Yet another list from Woman's Day - June 16, 2009

Try one of these to boost your spirit:

1. Start a blog. ♥ (Check)

2. Make up a ridiculous story - if someone is fueling your sour mood, create a goofy character based on that person. ---

3. Put yourself in the movies. Think of your favorite scene and put yourself in it. ---

4. Soak up the sun. Vitamin D3 is important for good health. ♥ I have been reading this everywhere!!!!!!!!!

5. Touch your toes - it opens your hips. ♥ I didn't know that, but I do it at Curves all the time.

6. Take it all in. All the little things. ♥

7. Turn on the tunes. ♥

8. Show off your moves. Dance. ---

9. Put photos on the fridge. ♥

10. Get plant happy.

11. Create a new code. Change your password to a positive code.

12. Break out of the box. So something new. ♥

13. Mark your calender. Put an event in it you look forward to.

14. Be generous. ♥

15. Turn negative into positive. (I do try).

16. Send out good vibes. (I do try).

17. Lend a hand. ♥

18. Think of the good stuff. ♥

OR

Don't do any of the things listed above and you might be unhappy in five minutes (lol). Again, I go back to my mantra.

It's always about choice. Mine too!

Chatty

“You can do anything you think you can. This knowledge is literally the gift of the gods, for through it you can solve every human problem. It should make of you an incurable optimist. It is the open door.” —Robert Collier (1885-1950); motivational author

And the reverse is true:
If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
- Catherine Aird

A Happy Ending - Sugarland

Okay, okay - I've got to talk some about weddings. We have one coming in four months. A big white (ivory) wedding. If you didn't think a full formal wedding could be planned in six months - you don't know my resourceful daughter. I think it's all coming together beautifully.

I think what the song is trying to say, to me, is that again a happy ending is a choice. And not just one choice. It's a choice every time you make a decision - in marriage and in life. I believe that in my core! If you see someone happy or unhappy - it usually is a choice. Not always, but many times it is.


"A Happy Ending" by Sugarland - see the YouTube Below.

Cowboys ride into sunsets
The good guy always gets the girl
Cinderella's just fit
The glass slipper that changed her world
We all know the stories
We all know the fairy tales
We all get the glory
Of making it for ourselves

Chorus:
From the beginning
We're all looking for a happy ending
Every dream of winning
Every love we've been in
Right from the beginning
We're looking for a happy ending

We come here with nothing
And take it with us the day we leave
The first and last breath don't matter
It's all the ones that are in between
It's the reason for living
It's the reason the caged bird sings
It's why we sit in the movies
All the way to the closing scene

And for all the dreamers who have come and gone
Who have reached for the stars who have overcome
You're the hope, you're the wish, you're the truth
Baby here's the proof
Baby's born in the ghetto
Baby's born with a silver spoon
One tells his mama, "I'll have a dream."
One tells his mama, "I'll walk the moon."

My wish for you my dear daughter, is that you will choose to have a happy ending. To do that I think you both must work hard and sacrifice. But most of all - don't forget to choose to have some fun. Life doesn't have to be made harder than it is - hard times will come on their own. Slow down and smell the roses.

She is picking out songs for her wedding now - it's been a lot of fun - if you have any suggestions - let me know.

Love,
Chatty

Inspirational People Week - Christina Applegate

Okay - something that always - always - always makes me feel better - is to look at others. Some people have it pretty bad - yet they take it in stride. They are heroes and they give me such inspiration. (I also stop feeling sorry for myself - it gives me strength).

Hopefully this week we can take a look at some inspirational people and see if we can gain anything from their strength. I think that is one reason we are here on earth - to help others.

It is one of the most beautiful compensations of life that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself.-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Some pursue happiness, others create it.-Anonymous

From an interview of TV GUIDE- Christina Applegate

"It's good to be back," she said in her recent interview with TV Guide. "I get tired quickly. But it's nice to have a focus for a minute outside of that."

That of course, is her recovery from breast cancer. The 36 year old actress was diagnosis in late March and ultimately underwent a double mastectomy in July. Applegate is cancer-free and, slowly but surely, healing both physical and emotionally from an ordeal that she admirably sugarcoats.

"Yes, it's hard. It sucks. But I'm not a victim."

Applegate is a profoundly different woman form the one who sat down with TV Guido last year. Then she lived and breathed work, almost to the exclusion of everything else.

All that shifted early last spring . "I started looking for a beach house the day I found out I had this little disease." "You just kind of go what am I waiting for for to get the things that you want and the things you dream of."

She bought a peaceful, quiet, beautiful place where she spent three weeks recuperating post surgery surrounded by friends and family, including her own mother, actress Nancy Priddy, who had also bravely battled-and beat - the disease. "I allowed myself to fall into their care, which is very hard for me personally because that is not my personality.

I have an extremely hard time asking others for help - for attention - for anything. It goes against what I learned from childhood - when someone gives you something - there's a price attached to it. Therefore, I tend to be pretty self reliant - which isn't a bad thing, but it's not a great thing either, some times. It seems I can give to others forever, but asking for something and taking from someone is something I have to work on.

I've learned without replenishing myself - it's a good way to burn out. We have to learn to take some time for ourselves and we may have to ask others for what we need. I've also learned that while we may get up the courage to ask for what we need, we risk the answer to be no -we will survive a no - it doesn't mean it's a personal rejection - there may be others reasons for a no. We have to say yes to ourselves and go on alone. No one said it was easy.

But, we are survivors.
Love,
Chatty

Living Life In Color . . .Make Sure Our Own WIndows Are Clean

HOW DO WE LIVE LIFE IN COLOR - MAYBE EVEN TECHNICOLOR?

Lesson # 1


A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young
woman saw her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly.Perhaps she needs better laundry soap"

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash out to dry,the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

Husband: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

* * *

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

LESSON #1 - MAKE SURE OUR OWN WINDOWS ARE CLEAN, BEFORE WE LOOK AT OTHERS LAUNDRY.

Love,
Chatty

"We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us." ~ Virginia Satir

Remember to vote!

I haven't taken a Bible Study in a long time - not because I haven't wanted too, the timing has been off. I could do it when it wasn't offered and it was offered when I was busy (same thing I guess). This year I was bound and determined to take one.

The only one offered at our church was 'Breaking Free - Making Liberty in Christ a Reality in Life' by Beth Moore. The only thing I knew was that Beth Moore Bible Studies for woman were supposed to be awesome. I signed up.

Well, no matter how many times I think I have all my 'past' behind me, something comes along to bring up another layer. I mean I really feel like I have gone over this so many times.

"I didn't remember until recently why I felt so uncomfortable on my wedding day some 20 years ago. I remember looking in the mirror with such disappointment. I had hoped to be a beautiful bride and, although Keith assures me with proper partiality that I was, I felt so much the opposite on my special day. My gown was rented, and I would not wear white because I did not feel pure-scars from being a childhood victim of someone else's problems." - Beth Moore

Oh no - Beth Moore was a victim of abuse as a child. She was in captivity from the abuse. She searched for years and years and years how to free herself from the bondage of it - hence the study came out 1999 - Breaking Free. I don't know much else about her story as it doesn't go into it a lot. Apparently she was the victim of abuse (sexual ?) by a relative I think. Her mom kind of had her own problems and was there, but missing in action if you know what I mean. The only way she got out of captivity from the past was through Jesus.

In this Bible study we're supposed to remove the obstacles in our path, tour the ancient ruins of our lives, bind up the brokenhearted part of us, make beauty from ashes - by letting God be the potter and we the clay - by his unfailing love.

Now don't get me wrong - I believe this wholeheartedly. I get it. All of it. I'm wondering about the other woman - do they get it? There are 15 of us. Last week we could discuss our past if we wanted too. Three of them had ministers as fathers. The other eleven had wonderful childhoods too and had wonderful Christian 'daddies'.

Maybe I'm not as over it as I think I am. I was a bit bitter in my heart. Sorry. I was thinking - what in the world do these woman know about pain and suffering? About abuse? What are they doing here in this study and who the heck picked it and why?

And, why did I have to go through that myself? Why couldn't I have had the wonderful Christian 'daddy' and the mother who was there with me, helping me instead of needing help herself? Why did I lose my brother the nearest and dearest person - the person who went though and survived all this with me? (Of course, the answer I always get is - Why not me? I also know that other people have things they are suffering with - even though it's different than mine.)

We talked about how we 'pay' for the sins of our parents. Being the way our parents were - their parents were - what we learned from them and how we can carry it on to our children. Or if we're blessed enough, we learn to let it go - through working hard and changing ourselves from what we learned.

I can't say I exactly relate to these women. I didn't talk - I didn't know quite what to say. Do I tell them I was abused? I mean the abuse is over. I once was a victim, but I no longer feel like a victim. I don't think of myself as a victim. Has it left scars? Yes, but do they need to know that? Do I need to share that?

The biggest issue I have remaining is the lack of feeling self worth - not all of the time - but definitely some of the time. Liking myself - inner acceptance - me loving and really accepting myself unconditionally.

Well I'm more than being honest today. I have a hard time telling people this and about the abuse. Yet here I blab to the whole world (?) - it's safe. It's hard to tell people.

Now did I pass problems down from my parents - through me - to my kids? Yes! Not the abuse part, but the self esteem part - how could they learn self-esteem when they didn't see it modeled for them? I feel that I taught them to be afraid instead of self confident. I was a perfectionist in my younger days. I was critical (I hate to admit it). So to my children I am sorry. I did my best at the time. Too bad I can't re-raise you now! I'm so much better and have so much more to give. Back then I was on survival mode. So pain and struggling does make you better . . .

So yes, I have grown and changed with age - I think for the better (Lol).

So - my advice to you and to the world is to learn to define who you are for yourself - in fact this is what I really feel - don't even define yourself. Why - what good does it do. Just be whoever you are - that 'went though' whatever particular circumstances you went through.

"We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us." ~ Virginia Satir (or ourself)

Never allow someone else to hurt you by defining you as bad including yourself. Everyone is good in their own way however they are.

Chatty

What is a grown up?

What is a grown up?
(Taken from AARP’s magazine)
I thought it was a good article to share -

Fifty years is an arbitrary as any other measurement of time. Many regard this birthday as a milestone. Fifty used to mean you were old. Now it is middle-aged, even young.

Human maturity isn’t predictable like the ripening of a piece of fruit. Growing up is a PROJECT (JOB) one embarks on or FAILS to embark on, the success of which can be OBSERVED at practically any age.

A thoughtful person of 25 may be considered wise beyond his years. An 85-year-old may be self-absorbed, childish.

Real wisdom is more than accumulated knowledge.

How do you know when you are a grown up? You know when you are a grown-up when:

You know there are many things more important than yourself.
You’re attentive to the footprint you will have left in the world.
You forgive the carelessness of the young, and regret the thoughtlessness of your own youth
You finally realize that you have no one to complain too (and I don’t mean you don’t have God – it’s different)

GROWING UP IS A CHOICE.

The journey begins with the simplest of steps:

Identify your values, than ACTING accordingly. This means jettisoning the excuses that have previously blocked your path (I’m too tired, “I don’t have the time,” etc.) And then the tricky part: doing all this while retaining your sense of humor.

Few accomplish these goals. (Total successes would mean you are a Saint).

The most important thing is to point yourself in the right direction and start marching. (DO, TRY, ACT)

The alternative is to have a life that has a beginning, a middle, and an end – that’s all.
****************************************

I sometimes like to share what my friends think because to tell you the truth - sometimes I am in amazement at them - they can say things so much better than I do. Explain things better. Or I find out why we are friends - because we think a like!

I was writing to one of my friends this weekend and we got on the topic of 'how we have changed' - how we are now vs how we were in our youth - she had delightful insights:

"Uhmmm.....how have I changed? I really don't think about it....until a dear friend asks.

I believe I value the gift of time more than ever before. I no longer take it for granted. I recognize I am not immortal.

I value my friendships more than ever before. I always have and I always will, but now I don't put things off as much. I try to make the most of every day and as you know "fill em up" because I do not know what tomorrow holds.

I am in some ways less patient, but wanting to be more patient....story of my life....just because we don't have time to waste. I'm more of a "bottom liner" when I speak, but I'd like to think when it comes to listening I am doing a little better. Listening is sooooo important.

When it comes to my faith, it is strong, but I ask more questions than ever before. I have become more practical than ever before and finally recognize it. I recognize what is really important and try not to get trapped in the petty. I have to sometimes just put my emotional raincoat on and let hurtful words, etc. just roll off it.

I'm more relaxed about inviting folks and friends in for meals. It's about the people, not the stuff.

I've mellowed...not about everything, but am definitely moving in that direction. That is a freeing feeling. Life is again too short to major in the minors as they say. I try to put things into perspective.

Counting my blessings is essential..... What is MOST important is my family and my friends and I continue to recognize that and hold them all dear to my heart. God is in control and has everything all lined up. "

Isn't she a wonderful and wise woman?

Love,
Chatty

"I know but one freedom and that is the freedom of the mind." ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery