Fun Friday - Reading is fundamental

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?'

'Reading a book,' she replies.

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her.

'I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.'

'Yes, but you have all the equipment... For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.'

'For reading a book?' she replies.

'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her again.

'If you do that, I'll have to charge you with Sexual assault,' says the woman.

'But I haven't even touched you,' says the game warden.

'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.'

'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he left.


MORAL : Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think. *****************************************************
Sick Leave

I urgently needed a few days off work,
But, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave.
I thought that maybe if I acted 'Crazy'
Then he would tell me to take a few days off.
So, I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises!
My co-worker (who's blonde) asked me what I was doing.
I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb,
So, that the Boss might think I was 'Crazy' and give me a few days off.
A few minutes later the Boss came into the office and asked,
'What in the name of good GOD are you doing ?'
I told him I was a light bulb.
He said, 'You are clearly stressed out.'
Go home and recuperate for a couple of days.'
I jumped down and walked out of the office...
When my co-worker (the blonde) followed me, the Boss asked her,
'...And where do you think you're going?!'
(You're gonna love this....)


She said,
'I'm going home too, I can't work in the dark!!
******************************************************
See Below - warning you might die laughing -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EYmsr8Sy4K0

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=un_PjRXV5l8&feature=email

Laughing is inner jogging.

Love,

Chatty


See the You Tube Below too....

Thursday's Thoughts - How To Handle Problems

Walk away from it until you're stronger. All your problems will be there when you get back, but you'll be better able to cope." ~ Lady Bird Johnson

This too, will pass.

Love,

Chatty

Wednesday's Whims (songs) - Feel the Fire by Dierks Bentley

Dierks Bentley - "Feel the Fire" I like this song about feeling the fire of life - if you stop, really stop, and breathe - then look around you - you can feel the passion and life in other people and things. Feel the vibrations.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSZoKKKQ2Qk&feature=email

I have accepted fear as part of life--specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says turn back.- Erica Jong

Well, I've been doing my Blog and I had surgery last Friday. I thought I had two hernias instead it was the largest hernia the doctor eve saw - starting on one place in the stomach muscle and twisting and turning and coming out another whole side! Sore I am. I think I have the worlds largest cut! Anyway, not complaining - I'm been very lucky. I do believe what Clarence Goodbody said in It's A Wonderful Life. (I have to keep remembering that!)

So I haven't been checking Blogs and answering my wonderful Blog friends - but I'm back. I going to the doctor this am, but I'm going to see what you've been up to - tonight.

Thanks for all my comments. Love them.

Chatty

Tuesdays Ramblings - Timing is everything

TIMING IS EVERYTHING

CHATTY

Monday Mullings on challenges

"Challenges make you discover things about yourself that you never really knew. They're what make the instrument stretch -- what makes you go beyond the norm."– Cicely Tyson

Chatty

Be Unsettled!

“People wish to be settled: only as far as they are UNSETTLED is there any hope for them.”
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

Love,Chatty

http://wandascountryhome.com/whitechristmas/index.html

I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas . . .

Everyday is important . . .

There is no such thing in anyone's life as an unimportant day.
-Alexander Woollcott

Love,

Chatty

Don't worry, be happy . . .

"Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is." ~ Ernest Hemingway

Baked Beans
One day I met a sweet gentleman and fell in love.
When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work.
Since I lived in the countryside I called my husband and told him that I would be late because I had to walk home.
On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odor of baked beans was more than I could stand.
With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my husband seemed excited to see me and exclaimed excitedly:
"Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight. "
He then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table.
I took a seat and just as he was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang.
He made me promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned and went to answer the call.
The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my husband was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go.
It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill.
I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously.
Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more.
The stink was worse than cooked cabbage.
Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes.
The pleasure was indescribable.
When eventually the telephone farewells signaled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself.
My face must have been the picture of innocence when my husband returned, apologizing for taking so long.
He asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured him I had not.
At this point, he removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused:
"Happy Birthday!"

And a happy Friday to y'all.
Chatty

Look at a romantic sleigh ride - this is sooooooooooooooooooo funny.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NWR957k4vss&feature=email

Hello, Everybody . . .

What if, for an entire month, you greeted everyone in your path?

Readers Digest - December 2008

11 things you can learn from one small change, by Joe Kita

1. It's not as easy as you think.

2. Friendliness is so rare nowadays, it's disarming.

3. It can boost productivity.

4. People you wouldn't acknowledge turn out to be the friendliest.

5. Respect begets respect.

6. Setting influences sociability.

7. Tinted windows should be banned.

8. You need to be careful around kids.

9. Reaching out focuses you.

10. It can save your marriage.

11. It's a form of universal health insurance.

What if we tried it for just one week - do you think it would change anyone - what about our self?
Funny thing is my grandson did this over the Thanksgiving week. He said hello to everyone he saw whenever we went out. At first we felt embarrassed (I think he was showing off a little and it actually backfired on him) and we wanted to stop him, but the people seemed so happy and returned his hello and smile. We then told him to try to give it away, but he couldn't!

Chatty

The Quality of the Harvest

The Quality of the Harvest

"Gardening, like your life, isn't a project you tend to when it's the right season. It takes planning and readiness all year long," the man told me.

I went to the local hardware store on Saturday looking for some parts I needed to fix a faucet in our kitchen. My wife has much confidence in my ability to figure how to do such things, but also knows it will take much longer than necessary and I'll injure myself. It did and I did.

Don't ask me how it happened, but I didn't injure myself working on the plumbing. I cut myself laying down contact paper under the sink. No, I didn't cut myself on the paper. I have no idea how this happened but it did. And it always does.

Maybe I should call this story "Things you can depend on." Not only because I injured myself but the fact that whenever I head out into the world I can depend on meeting someone with a message I needed to hear. Saturday was no different.

I wandered into the garden shop in search of Spring and signs of life. Spring is life and as I tell you often, life is in the details. Winter's details are brilliant, but I can't wait for Spring.

Although people maybe thinking and longing for Spring here, very few if any, are headed to the garden supply shops. Except for Peter.

Peter was about my age, average height, touches of white around each temple and when it came to gardening very knowledgeable.

"I didn't expect to see anyone in this section so early," I said as I entered the room.

"Why not?" he replied.

"Well Spring hasn't arrived yet. Although I've been carrying it around in my heart for months now." I said smiling.

"Well, my uninformed friend, gardening, like your life, isn't a project you tend to when it's the right season. It takes planning and readiness all year long," Peter told me.

Okay, he had my attention. I know I don't know much about gardening, but life? I pride myself on my life skills.

"But gardening is seasonal. I never saw anyone in their garden with snow up to their knees," I said.

"That's because a good gardener is inside planning, reading and yes growing. There are things we can grow early enough to get a head start on the season. Just like you should in life."

"Go on," I urged him.

"About five years ago, my wife died. One never plans for that. How could you? In life there is a season for that and we hadn't even come near that time. Using the same comparison, our two children were in their growing season. Like in gardening we tended to their needs with nourishment, special care and lots of love. The saddest thing is we never got to the best season of all," he said as he shook his head.

"Harvest time?" I asked.

"Yes, the harvest of our lives. The season after you have worked life's garden, planted for the future, and pulled all the weeds. The time to sit back and enjoy the fruits of our labor never came. At least not together. Our children are growing and they bring much life into my world. I see them blossoming into all that God had created them to be. But I see it alone." he said now lowering his head and turning away from me.

"Let me ask you something. I plant a seed and the flower grows. At the same time my neighbor down the street plants the same flower and it grows. Mine is thin, with few blooms. Hers is full and healthy looking. The same seed, different gardener. I would guess then that the gardener is reflected in the beauty of the flower, right?" I asked.

"Yes, I guess so."

"Then you are not alone, my friend, for the beauty of your wife is reflected in your children. God provided the seeds, you and your wife made them to grow, and when her harvest came early, she left the garden in good hands," I said.

"I never thought of it that way. You are right. The beauty that I see in my world is a reflection of her and I. They are with me always. Then so is she," he said now smiling.

Taking advantage of the moment I replied, "And I have gained a new insight on gardening and my life. You do reap what you sow and the quality of the harvest lies in the gardener. When it seems that the Winter in our lives will never leave, remember that "All the flowers of all our tomorrows are in the seeds of today." Robert H. Schuller"

Just then his children came running through the door.

"Here comes tomorrow's flowers," he said.

"Daddy, could we plant Daisies again this year?" one child asked.

"Yes, of course. They were Mom's favorite," he said.

"Ours, too!" they said in unison.

"That doesn't surprise me," Dad said as he smiled and kissed them.

Galatians 6:9 Let us not grow tired of doing good, for in due time we shall reap our harvest, if we do not give up.

Pretty story to end the week,
Chatty

Happy Thanksgiving

A young man named John received a parrot as a gift. The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary. Every word out of the bird's mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity. John tried and tried to change the bird's attitude by consistently saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else he could think of to "clean up" the bird's vocabulary.

Finally, John was fed up and he yelled at the parrot. The parrot yelled back. John shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even ruder. John, in desperation, threw up his hand, grabbed the bird and put him in the freezer. For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed. Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

Fearing that he'd hurt the parrot, John quickly open the door to the freezer, the parrot calmly stepped out onto John's outstretched arms and said, "I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and actions. I'm sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and unforgivable behavior."

John was stunned at the change in the bird's attitude. As he was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued, "May I ask what the turkey did?"


HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

A game warden was driving down the road when he came upon a young boy carrying a wild turkey under his arm.

He stopped and asked the boy, 'Where did you get that turkey?'

The boy replied, 'What turkey?'

The game warden said, 'That turkey you're carrying under your arm.'

The boy looks down and said, 'Well, lookee here, a turkey done roosted under my arm!'

The game warden said, 'Now look, you know turkey season is closed, so whatever you do to that turkey, I'm going to do to you. If you break his leg, I'm gonna break your leg. If you break his wing, I'll break your arm. Whatever you do to him, I'll do to you. So, what are you gonna do with him?'

The little boy said, 'I guess I'll just kiss his butt and let him go!'

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have never a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!


Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

Chatty

Living Life In Color-Don't Worry - Be Happy

Lesson # 7 DON'T WORRY - BE HAPPY

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting. -Elizabeth Bibesco

I've learned....That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

I've learned....That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.

I've learned....That money doesn't buy class.

I've learned...That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.

I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

I've learned....That the Lord didn't do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

I've learned....That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.

I've learned....That the less time I have to work, the more things I get done.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yjnvSQuv-H4&feature=email
Love,

Chatty

Living Life In Color . . .Make Sure Our Own WIndows Are Clean

HOW DO WE LIVE LIFE IN COLOR - MAYBE EVEN TECHNICOLOR?

Lesson # 1


A young couple moved into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young
woman saw her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean," she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly.Perhaps she needs better laundry soap"

Her husband looked on, but remained silent.

Every time her neighbor would hang her wash out to dry,the young woman would make the same comments.

About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this?"

Husband: "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

* * *

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

LESSON #1 - MAKE SURE OUR OWN WINDOWS ARE CLEAN, BEFORE WE LOOK AT OTHERS LAUNDRY.

Love,
Chatty

Find Joy In the Journey

What You Need To Know

Nobody ever demanded you unravel every mystery of the cosmos, or make sense of all you learn.

There are things we will come to understand and things we will never fathom in our lifetimes—as well as things that are just beyond the gray matter within the human skull.

As humans, we are indignant about such limitations, as though the unknown has no right to stay unknown.

As though reality is defined by our ability to know it.

It may be hard to concede, but none of us is God. Our job description is not to know all things.

Our job is only to pick up those truths we will each need for our mission while we are here.

Love,
Chatty

All you need is deep within you waiting to unfold and reveal itself. All you have to do is be still and take time to seek for what is within, and you will surely find it.

-Eileen Caddy

"We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us." ~ Virginia Satir

Remember to vote!

I haven't taken a Bible Study in a long time - not because I haven't wanted too, the timing has been off. I could do it when it wasn't offered and it was offered when I was busy (same thing I guess). This year I was bound and determined to take one.

The only one offered at our church was 'Breaking Free - Making Liberty in Christ a Reality in Life' by Beth Moore. The only thing I knew was that Beth Moore Bible Studies for woman were supposed to be awesome. I signed up.

Well, no matter how many times I think I have all my 'past' behind me, something comes along to bring up another layer. I mean I really feel like I have gone over this so many times.

"I didn't remember until recently why I felt so uncomfortable on my wedding day some 20 years ago. I remember looking in the mirror with such disappointment. I had hoped to be a beautiful bride and, although Keith assures me with proper partiality that I was, I felt so much the opposite on my special day. My gown was rented, and I would not wear white because I did not feel pure-scars from being a childhood victim of someone else's problems." - Beth Moore

Oh no - Beth Moore was a victim of abuse as a child. She was in captivity from the abuse. She searched for years and years and years how to free herself from the bondage of it - hence the study came out 1999 - Breaking Free. I don't know much else about her story as it doesn't go into it a lot. Apparently she was the victim of abuse (sexual ?) by a relative I think. Her mom kind of had her own problems and was there, but missing in action if you know what I mean. The only way she got out of captivity from the past was through Jesus.

In this Bible study we're supposed to remove the obstacles in our path, tour the ancient ruins of our lives, bind up the brokenhearted part of us, make beauty from ashes - by letting God be the potter and we the clay - by his unfailing love.

Now don't get me wrong - I believe this wholeheartedly. I get it. All of it. I'm wondering about the other woman - do they get it? There are 15 of us. Last week we could discuss our past if we wanted too. Three of them had ministers as fathers. The other eleven had wonderful childhoods too and had wonderful Christian 'daddies'.

Maybe I'm not as over it as I think I am. I was a bit bitter in my heart. Sorry. I was thinking - what in the world do these woman know about pain and suffering? About abuse? What are they doing here in this study and who the heck picked it and why?

And, why did I have to go through that myself? Why couldn't I have had the wonderful Christian 'daddy' and the mother who was there with me, helping me instead of needing help herself? Why did I lose my brother the nearest and dearest person - the person who went though and survived all this with me? (Of course, the answer I always get is - Why not me? I also know that other people have things they are suffering with - even though it's different than mine.)

We talked about how we 'pay' for the sins of our parents. Being the way our parents were - their parents were - what we learned from them and how we can carry it on to our children. Or if we're blessed enough, we learn to let it go - through working hard and changing ourselves from what we learned.

I can't say I exactly relate to these women. I didn't talk - I didn't know quite what to say. Do I tell them I was abused? I mean the abuse is over. I once was a victim, but I no longer feel like a victim. I don't think of myself as a victim. Has it left scars? Yes, but do they need to know that? Do I need to share that?

The biggest issue I have remaining is the lack of feeling self worth - not all of the time - but definitely some of the time. Liking myself - inner acceptance - me loving and really accepting myself unconditionally.

Well I'm more than being honest today. I have a hard time telling people this and about the abuse. Yet here I blab to the whole world (?) - it's safe. It's hard to tell people.

Now did I pass problems down from my parents - through me - to my kids? Yes! Not the abuse part, but the self esteem part - how could they learn self-esteem when they didn't see it modeled for them? I feel that I taught them to be afraid instead of self confident. I was a perfectionist in my younger days. I was critical (I hate to admit it). So to my children I am sorry. I did my best at the time. Too bad I can't re-raise you now! I'm so much better and have so much more to give. Back then I was on survival mode. So pain and struggling does make you better . . .

So yes, I have grown and changed with age - I think for the better (Lol).

So - my advice to you and to the world is to learn to define who you are for yourself - in fact this is what I really feel - don't even define yourself. Why - what good does it do. Just be whoever you are - that 'went though' whatever particular circumstances you went through.

"We must not allow other people's limited perceptions to define us." ~ Virginia Satir (or ourself)

Never allow someone else to hurt you by defining you as bad including yourself. Everyone is good in their own way however they are.

Chatty

This is from my Jewish friend. I think it's a good thing to meditate about today.

The Ark

There is a raging storm at sea.

There are hellish waves that crash and pound at the shore, carrying all away, leaving desolation behind.

The sea is the world of making a living.

The waves are the stress and anxiety of indecision, not knowing which way to turn, on what to rely.

Up and down, hot and cold -- constantly churning back and forth.

Do as Noah did and build an ark.

"An ark" in Hebrew is taiva -- which means also "a word."

Your ark shall be the words of meditation and of prayer.

Enter into your ark, and let the waters lift you up, rather than drown you with everything else.

Love,

Chatty

Sunday's Christian Statement

To: YOU
Date: TODAY
From: GOD
Subject: YOURSELF
Reference: LIFE

This is God. Today I will be handling all of your problems for you. I do not need your help. So, have a nice day.
I love you.

P.S. And, remember...

If life happens to deliver a situation to you that you cannot handle, do not attempt to resolve it yourself! Kindly put it in the SFGTD (something for God to do) box. I will get to it in MY TIME. All situations will be resolved, but in my time, not yours.

Once the matter is placed into the box, do not hold onto it by worrying about it. Instead, focus on all the wonderful things that are present in your life now.

If you find yourself stuck in traffic, don't despair. There are people in this world for which driving is an unheard of privilege.

Should you have a bad day at work; think of the man who has been out of work for years.

Should you despair over a relationship gone badly; think of the person who has never known what it's like to love and be loved in return.

Should you grieve the passing of another weekend; think of the woman in dire straits, working twelve hours a day, seven days a week to feed her children.

Should your car break down, leaving you miles away from assistance; think of the paraplegic who would love the opportunity to take that walk.

Should you notice a new gray hair in the mirror; think of the cancer patient in chemo who wishes she had hair to examine.

Should you find yourself at a loss and pondering what is life all about, asking what my purpose is? Be thankful. There are those who didn't live long enough to get the opportunity.

Should you find yourself the victim of other people's bitterness, ignorance, smallness or insecurities; remember; things could be worse. You could be one of them!

Should you decide to send this to a friend; thank you. You may have touched their life in ways you will never know!

Now, you have a nice day...God

Love, Chatty
I'm sending this letter to all of us - myself included.

This, too, shall pass . . . Monday Musings

Are you having a bad day?

You've heard these words before I'm sure 'this too shall pass'; but, sometimes when we're going through stress or problems, these are the last words we want to hear from anyone - even from a good friend!

I read them in a book recently and it's going to be my new mantra.

This, Too, Shall Pass

If I can endure for this minute
Whatever is happening to me,
No matter how heavy my heart is
Or how dark the moment may be-

If I can remain calm and quiet
With all the world crashing about me,
Secure in the knowledge God loves me
When everyone else seems to doubt me-

If I can but keep on believing
What I know in my heart to be true,
That darkness will fade with the morning
And that this will pass away, too-

Then nothing in life can defeat me
For as long as this knowledge remains
I can suffer whatever is happening
For I know God will break all of the chains

That are binding me tight in the darkness
And trying to fill me with fear-
For there is no night without dawning
And I know that my morning is near.

...Helen Steiner Rice

Love, Chatty